The Leggin O tha Green HNT!

Happy Saint Pat's day ya wee bastards! HNT!

Gratitude

I bitch and moan and complain a lot, but on the whole life is pretty good and I'm grateful to God for all the wonder and beauty in my life and the world around me. I'm a lucky guy. Life's good.

Titanic Tuesday

This painting, 'Orange Sail' is by Hannah Shapero. I highly recommend her art and her blog! Interesting stuff if you're into art, mathmatics and esoteric philosophy. I was looking for a sailing picture to post since right now my brain is consumed by finishing renovations on my Albin Vega 27 sail boat (Gala) and that's what I found. I figure she won't mind me posting it since I linked to her. Go buy her art. Cheers!

Manic Monday

This pic came up under Google images "Manic Monday" and I liked it too much to pass up. "Let's see, the horoscope says I'll be forgetful today. What could I have forgotten? I have my sherry, my newspaper, my hat...what could it be?" Actually I think she's hideously unattractive in every way, except for the fact that she's naked, which always improves one's view of the subject. Lori sent me a remarkably incriminating photo of herself in a coon skin cap. OK, it's a fox skin cap and no she's not naked, you pervs. Anyway I threatened to post it because yes, it's hilarious, but I wouldn't embarrass her for my own amusement. Well, not THIS time anyway. Happy Monday ya big freaks. Sailing season approacheth!

Rare Political Rant

"Never wrestle with a pig; you both get dirty but the pig enjoys it."
I don't normally talk about political or social issues on my blog because in general the elites who have access to this technology tend to think I'm a Neanderthal because of my less than progressive attitudes about some things. I used to be a leftist commie pinko fag but I grew up and noticed that not everything they taught us in college was really true or practical in the real world. Shocking, I know, but there it is. So my experiences have pushed me right to the center politically. Deal with it. I know I'm not the only one.
The issue: Gun control. You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead fingers. The constitution guarentees us the right to keep and bear arms but you couldn't guess that in NY. Sorry, but I don't give two shits about your mommy state "what about the children" crap. Teach them to shoot. They might need to overthrow their facist goverment some day. Quit it.
The issue: reparations for slavery. I never owned a slave. No one in my family ever owned a slave and in fact a large number of my relatives fought with the union to free the slaves. How on Earth does that make me liable for reparations to anyone? It's not possible to administrate such a thing fairly even if it were a good idea, which it ain't. Quit it.
The issue: politically correct race names are an oxymoron. African-American, Irish American... Horse Hockey! If you were born in this country you're an American. Period; paragraph. I don't give a crap where your ancestors were from, YOU are an American and your race is unimportant. I'm a blue-eyed, olive skinned Irish and French American with native American and Spanish royal blood. That and $2 will get me on the subway just like anyone else. Quit it.
The issue: religious zealotry is dangerous to society at large and needs to be exterminated. If your God tells you that you must kill or enslave those who believe something different than you that makes you a menace to society. You need to be put down like a rabid dog. I don't care what flavor you are. You must die for the good of mankind. All of you. I'm not sorry. Quit it.
The issue: so called "gender norming" - Men and women are different. It's a fact. Get over it. Neither sex is "better" or "worse" than the other. We both have our strengths and weaknesses and we are designed (if there is such a thing) to complement one another. Making everything in the world gender non-specific is not only annoying and unnecessary but downright counter-productive. For example, just because some people think women should be fighting on the battlefield in a war doesn't make it a good idea. Quit it.
How come every bar can be made to be non-smoking? How come every bar can be made to have handicapped access? How come every bar can be made to have a gender neutral bathroom? How come every bar can be made to hire a certain number of ? What happened to personal freedom? You want any of those things? Great! I'm sure you'll have a clientelle, but you shouldn't be forced to do these things by governmental regulation. It's intrusive, authoritarian and un-American. Quit it. Some of my faithful readers may be appalled at these sentiments but they're mine and I'll own up to them. If you want to disagree in the comments feel free but please keep it civil. That's the problem with discourse today. No one can talk about anything without shouting and name calling. You got a beef? Fine, let's have it but leave my mother out of it or I'll shoot you.

HNT FLA

OK, this pic is from Nov. but I haven't posted it before. It had just rained and there was a little water on the lens. It's this or nothing since I was too busy last night to take a special one for today. I like that I'm smiling and you can see my anchor tattoo. So? HHNT!

Wonderful Wednesday

What's so wonderful about it you ask? Well it's my baby's birthday and Aruba is calling. This pic is from Miami but soon, yes, soon I shall be parked on a beach in Aruba with a drink in my hand, my toes in the sand and WOW! What a beautiful girl, ah yeah! A trip to Aruba is a nice birthday present, no? Apparently we've both been good. Aruba! In other news, lots to do. Boat work, novel editing, movie editing, music editing, editing editing editing. Blah. Nevertheless, I must finish what I started ere I start anything new or I'll never finish anything. Aruba! Woot!

Terrific Tuesday

The James River, Richmond Virginia. Class V rapids. That is to say that 15 experienced kayakers still drowned here last year. It looks fairly promising and I thought "Well, hell, it's just another river!" but apparently not so much. Things are not always what they seem. I think I'll stick with the Hudson river but even so she sure was beautiful. My birthday went well. Thanks for asking my bloggy peeps. Y'all rock, and how!

OMFG! THE PAIN!!!!!!

GniteGirl Lori inspired me to get a Koi Fish as my next tattoo. While searching for potential designs I saw this and just about crawled out of my skin. The amount of pain and discomfort I feel just LOOKING at this is beyond description. Euaruaghhhhhugugugug!!!!!!!!! NO SOLE-OF-THE-FOOT TATTOOS FOR ME! YOW!

Love and Friday

Ganked this damned fool test from Laurie. It claims MY Chinese charater is LOVE. Bosh. I hate that made up shit. Not that I can resist a good meme...at least they got the charater right. You'd be surprised how often people get that shit wrong. I have a friend who has a tattoo she claims says "Bad Girl." I didn't bother to tell her it says "Man-like Woman". Literally "Bad girl." Talk about lost in translation! I want to learn more Chinese. It's a gorgeous language. By the way, anyone else ever notice how often movie subtitles are just wrong? That shit drives me nuts! :-)
Check out the hysterical Hanzis Matter for more Chinese character butchery!

HNT in TUX

Today I present a picture from August 2004. Back when I had me some short hair. Since then I've been growing it out to its current longishness. Today is Day 5; no beer. I don't like the booze but the booze likes me. Well, vice versa actually. I stepped on the scale and wondered where that new ten lbs. came from. Then it hit me; 150 calories per bottle of beer x 10 bottles a day = 1500 additional unnecessary calories per day. Yuck. Water please.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Thanks to everyone who came by and wished me a happy birthday! I love you all! This pic is courtesy of Phantom, who is a photo shop guru extraordinaire. I ganked this test from Chaos. Wow! Wicked accurate! Who knew?

You chose AX - your Enneagram type is SEVEN.
"I am happy and open to new things"
Adventurers are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world.
How to Get Along with Me
Give me companionship, affection, and freedom.
Engage with me in stimulating conversation and laughter.
Appreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories.
Don't try to change my style. Accept me the way I am.
Be responsible for yourself. I dislike clingy or needy people.
Don't tell me what to do.
What I Like About Being a Seven
being optimistic and not letting life's troubles get me down
being spontaneous and free-spirited
being outspoken and outrageous. It's part of the fun.
being generous and trying to make the world a better place
having the guts to take risks and to try exciting adventures
having such varied interests and abilities
What's Hard About Being a Seven
not having enough time to do all the things I want
not completing things I start
not being able to profit from the benefits that come from specializing; not making a commitment to a career
having a tendency to be ungrounded; getting lost in plans or fantasies
feeling confined when I'm in a one-to-one relationship
Sevens as Children Often
are action oriented and adventuresome
drum up excitement
prefer being with other children to being alone
finesse their way around adults
dream of the freedom they'll have when they grow up
Sevens as Parents
are often enthusiastic and generous
want their children to be exposed to many adventures in life
may be too busy with their own activities to be attentive
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

Hope

Tomorrow is my birthday and the fact that I'm seeing another one gives me hope. To satisfy my sick sense of humor I was going to post a picture of a gallows but the one I found was the horrible Natzweiler-Struthof concentration camp gallows. I couldn't bring myself to post it. So I found this picture instead. I hope you share my hope. All things are possible in God.

New Mast and No One Reads Me Monday

Well I spent the weekend getting my new aluminum mast together for my beautiful boat Gala. Man, I hated that ugly wooden one. Plus it weighed like 200 lbs; not conducive to snmooth sailing. Everything is coming together nice and I'm getting really pumped. New mast, new sails, new paint, new lifelines, new outboard and all at a very affordable price. It's amazing what one can accomplish when one is really motivated.

Best HNT response ever! 58 comments!

I love it! The men almost all responded with "Whoa, scary!" The women almost all responded with "Whoa, sexy!" The girls who thought it was sexy tended to think that made them kinky. Fascinating!! I'm very pleased with the result. I was surprised how much it looks like I'm touching the knife with my left hand but it's an optical illusion. I'm nowhere near it. The main reason I asked you all what this means is I couldn't figure it out. I wanted something artistic, 1/2 naked, that included my boots and knife with a white background. That was the 2nd picture of the 8 that I took. That was the only one that looked remotely good but when I tried to imagine what was happening in the pic it was like "Hmm...what's going on HERE?!?!" I shopped an uncharacteristically long time for these. We went down to 8th street and 6th ave and there were about ten stores in a row. I went in every one and tried on a bunch of different brands and price ranges. Finally I found these. They fit, they're comfy, American made and were $180. You could REALLY tell the difference between these and the Chinese made for $100. DarkNeuro wins!She made me laugh: linoleum under your feet - do you show your knife to all the girls you meet?Answer: I was acquitted.

Half Naked Thursday In New York

What does this photograph say to you? Make up a story, sing me a song, write me a poem, you can't go wrong. Is it funny, disturbing, sexy, cool, or something else?

Sweet Irony!

Instant Karma - Well, not quite, but almost. I'm happy because, having answered honestly, they claim I shall be reincarnated as an owl. Only 9% of people will be reincarnated as a higher life form than me. I dunno what's so great about being an owl. Sure I'm soft and fluffy and I can fly silently and see a football field by candlelight but what's so great about eating mice? I'd rather be a lion or maybe an eagle; at least an eagle eats fish. They claim a pig is a filthy animal, but let's face it, wouldn't you want to have 30 minute orgasms? I ask you! So? Comment already. What shall you return as? Me wan know.

So. Bad. It's...Great!

Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner Sing! O my dear horror!
Courtesy of my hot pal Idling Wildly.

Russian Clowns!!

I had an wonderfully fun time seeing Slava's SNOWSHOW! WOOOHOOO!!!!!I highly recommend it. Funny as hell, a little scary at times, and generally far out. Thanks luv!

Curing Today's Ignorance

The Philosophy of Being...Ignorant - from OverheardInNewYork
Guy: Do you know what the word "ontological" means?
Chick: Yeah...I have seen it before...
Guy: Yeah. Me too.
Chick: Is it like an orange?
Guy: Yeah...Well, it's something weird like that.
Chick: I know what you mean.
--Hungarian Pastry Shop, Amsterdam Avenue
Overheard by: Marie Favorita

OK, I had to admit that I too wasn't sure what the word meant. My first thought was to confuse Ontology with Oncology, but I knew that wasn't right. Hence a trip to The Dictionary
which says:
on·col·o·gy = The branch of medicine that deals with tumors, including study of their development, diagnosis, treatment, and prevention.

on·tol·o·gy = The branch of metaphysics that deals with the nature of being. More on that here. Now aren't you glad I asked? OK, OK, back to work. Nothing to see here. Move along.

It' s not what you say, it's how you say it!

This post is brought to you by my favorite comic strip artist Jef Mallet, creator of FRAZZ - The guy is a freaking genius and I highly recommend his new book. It's only $8 and more than well worth it. Tell your friends. Seriously, it's Awesome! Everyone I know uses the phrase "I feel nauseous." to mean they feel sick. That is apparently the wrong usage. From the dictionary: nau·seous adj. Causing nausea; sickening: “the most nauseous offal fit for the gods” Usage Problem. Affected with nausea. Usage Note: Traditional critics have insisted that nauseous is properly used only to mean “causing nausea” and that it is incorrect to use it to mean “affected with nausea,” as in Roller coasters make me nauseous. In this example, nauseated is preferred by 72 percent of the Usage Panel. Curiously, though, 88 percent of the Panelists prefer using nauseating in the sentence The children looked a little green from too many candy apples and nauseating (not nauseous) rides. Since there is a lot of evidence to show that nauseous is widely used to mean “feeling sick,” it appears that people use nauseous mainly in the sense in which it is considered incorrect. In its “correct” sense it is being supplanted by nauseating.

I love it when I find out that something that EVERYONE says is totally grammatically wrong. It gives me hope that SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE is paying attention. :-) Cheers!

Bang On De Drum In De Islands HNT

I don't want to work! I just want to bang on de drum all day! Wit my foot!

Go

Haunted and hunted.
Hell hounds on my trail.
Flaunted and punted
All to no avail

And I pack up my bags and

I can't find the future,
Can't escape the past;
Stuck in the present.
Alone at last

And then I pack up my bags and
pack up my bags and

I'm burnt and busted
Cut off from the flow
Doped up and dusted
And I just don't know

So I pack up my bags and
pack up my bags and
I pack up my bags and

Why can't I be more like you
And want the simple things you do?
The happiness that just eludes
The emptiness that I exude
The foolishness that I include
And all the lies I swear are try and so I

Pack up my bags and then I
Pack up my bags and then I
Pack up my bags and go

And I pack up my bags and
Pack up my bags and
Pack up my bags and go.

Happy Valentine's Day

St. Valentine baptizing Lucilla by Jacopo Bassano - It seems fine art and Catholicism are colliding on my blog lately. Little known facts about St. Valentine: There were 3 different ones. An Irish one, a German/Franco one was the patron St. of epileptics, and an African one that no one seems to know much about. Anyway, the Irish one seems to be the one m9ost people know about and anyway that first link has the most info about Valentine's day, for all you uninterested parties. I missed church on Sunday but not for lack of trying. It snowed like heck and we showed up but no one was there. Only after we had gone shopping and come home did we realize they had moved the service from 5PM to 6PM. Oops. It was an honest mistake. I think God understands. Go visit Bougie and C1 for an interesting debate on race, sex and other hot topics. Don't forget to chime right in with your bad self.

Snow

And lots of it. :-( Rats. Just when I thought we'd make it through the winter without another bad storm. Got stuck in a snow bank this morning. Kinda sucked but I managed to dig out without the aid of a tow truck. Sheesh.

Albin Vega parts

This is the handle one would use to hand crank a diesel engine for an Albin Vega sailboat like my own. Since I have no such engine nor want one (outboards rule) I offer this one for sale. Leave a comment and bid or email me at xxxblister(at) yahoo (dot) com. Cheers!

The Shocker HNT

I sometimes think my hands are my best feature. HHNT!

Saint Robert of Adams

Last night I dreamed I was walking around the halls of a college campus. Young people were milling about going to class. I ran into my old professor Dr Robert Train Adams. We were talking and I suddenly realized he had become a Saint. He had a fiery halo and it was as if I could see his true forms; a white paladin's shield adorned with a blue cross, a golden, bejeweled cup filled with Christ's blood, the college professor with a halo... I reached out to touch his heart and he threatened to punch me. Then he said he was just kidding. Then I woke up. Why can't I dream like normal people?

Tired Tuesday

My love was upset with me last night for good reason. I repent my transgression mightily.
I am blessed.
Chapter 13
Jacob and the Angel
JACOB'S wrong in receiving his brother's blessing by fraud was again brought forcibly before him, and he was afraid that God would permit Esau to take his life. In his distress he prayed to God all night. An angel was represented to me as standing before Jacob, presenting his wrong before him in its true character. As the angel turns to leave him, Jacob lays hold of him, and will not let him go. He makes supplications with tears. He pleads that he has deeply repented of his sins and the wrongs against his brother, which had been the means of separating him from his father's house for twenty years. He ventures to plead the promises of God and the tokens of His favor to him from time to time in his absence from his father's house.
All night Jacob wrestled with the angel, making supplication for a blessing. The angel seemed to be resisting his prayer, by continually calling his sins to his remembrance, at the same time endeavoring to break away from him. Jacob was determined to hold the angel, not by physical strength, but by the power of living faith. In his distress Jacob referred to the repentance of his soul, the deep humility he had felt for his wrongs. The angel regarded his prayer with seeming indifference, continually making efforts to release himself from the grasp of Jacob. He might have exercised his supernatural power and forced himself from Jacob's grasp, but he did not choose to do this.
But when he saw that he prevailed not against Jacob, to convince him of his supernatural power, he touched his thigh, which was immediately out of joint. But Jacob would not give up his earnest efforts for bodily pain. His object was to obtain a blessing, and pain of body was not sufficient to divert his mind from his object. His determination was stronger in the last moments of the conflict than at the beginning. His faith grew more earnest and persevering until the very last, even till the breaking of the day. He would not let go his hold of the angel until he blessed him. "And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me." The angel then inquired, "What is thy name? And he said, Jacob. And he said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed."

Busy Night In Dreamland

Lately my dreams have had several themes. (1) Being overwhelmed. Often I am set to an impossible task in unmanagable circumstances. Get these tons of trash out of this muddy street. Roll this giant stone up this muddy hill while drunk. That sort of thing.

(2) Being seduced. Frequently I am being coerced into sex by inappropriate people in inappropriate places. Two underage women in a bar crowded with people I know. Being unable to resist even though I know the terrible price of faithlessness; Unbearable loss.

(3) Being intoxicated. Falling down drunk and unable to handle (1) and (2) above. Last night I hit the trifecta repeatedly. Plus I kept getting tabacco in my drink and coughing like crazy when I tried to drink it. Man, my poor brain. I need mental floss. I'm getting a little worried that my very public persona here is going to get me in touble. Again. Like many of my bloggy friends I might need to go underground with this stuff. It's just too dangerous to have floating around.
OK so I watched the Superbowl. The Fedex Ad was the best and I think the Seahawks got robbed. I had no vested interest and apologies to Laurie but from where I sat the refs ignored every Steelers foul and flagged every Seahawks foul. The first Steelers touchdown was VERY questionable. Whatever. I don't give a crap about football but that was my take. The Stealers need to change the spelling of their name. :-) Let the flames begin.

Friday is for gettin yer FREAK ON!

I forget where I got this but I just LOVE things like this. My fellow French speakers will of course get it right away. You non French speakers might need a hint at first: The 'establishment' is located at 69 Black Cat Street (Paris). Prices are in francs and, as this is quite old, things were quite a bit cheaper back then. Now that Les Femmes de la Nuit are unionized it's pretty much 300 francs no matter what you want although you can always get "Le Pipe" from the local crack whore for 50 francs anywhere on Rue St. Denis. Or...um...so I hear. Not that I would know. Yea.

Grrrr HNT

Rats. Not a great start to the day. Got up early, went to the marina with my new sail, hoisted it to check the fit...and it looks wrong but I'm not sure. That's a $525 mistake. I have 14 days to send it back so I left it with the sailmaker to see if maybe he can make it work. Grrr. As such I had no time to take a new HNT but this one is old enough that my new readers (my, my there's a lot of you!) might not have seen it. Plus it puts me in the mindset of sailing which I could do
TODAY if I wasn't working. It's already like 50 degrees out there. FNA!

Gala's Circuit Diagram

This is Gala's circuit diagram. Between redesigning her electrical system and studying sphereical trigonometry so I can use my new sextant I'm becoming a regular math and science wiz. These are not parts of my brain I use well or often so it's challenging. I hear women think smart men are sexy. How can this be true? I get more looks flexing my muscles than my brain. Thoughts?
I had big fun chatting via IM with Damasta lasta nighta. Ella fue sorprendida un blanquito como yo peuden hablar como la raza. Whateva. I'm a freakin' genius! :-) She gotta white girl accent, yo. I can't believe how few people she knows in Tejas who can speak the non-gringo lingo. What's up with that crap? Peace out Super Dawgs and Pussy Cats..

SEXTANT!!!

Yes folks, my new sextant arrived in the mail today. I'm in Sailing Geek Heaven. For nearly 300 years sailors have been using these to navigate by the sun, moon and stars. There's some tricky math but it's an intersting mental excercise which I'm sorely in need of. Besides it's like sailing, swordfighting, archery, martial arts and all that other old fashioned crap I'm so into. It's not a skill you're ever likely to need, but if you DO need it you REALLY FUCKING NEED IT. Here's the full scoop on sextants and celestial navigation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sextant

The First 8.3% 0f 2006 Is Over!

I'd love to tell you all that I did this self portrait by hand, in ink and on the first try. Alas, I'm bound to confess to you that it was created at Mister PicassoHead which I highly recommend.
Nevertheless I'm fond of it. It captures how I imagine myself to look if I were a caricature of a famous Horny-As-Hell writer or artist type banging every slag who crossed my path. I think I needs a cigar though, preferrably properly seasoned by Monica Lewinsky. Maybe a tumbler of whiskey would help too? Hell, when WOULDN'T a tumbler of whiskey help? I ask you...

New HNT!

That was approximately half of me. The back half. Happy HNT!

Red Square

No, I'm not going to Moscow (um..yet). This is just the uncreative name I came up with for this new uncreative piece of "art" I just whipped up. I like it in spite of that. There's something familiar and friendly about it to me. I'm now inspired to do something with blue elipses but anyway... I've been having these weird vivid dreams lately, all of them very strange. I'll spare you the details but my subconcious is getting a workout. I took my first new HNT pic in a while. I think y'all gonna like it; at least I hope so.

Verizon Sucks

I have Verizon DSL. (Insert Rasberry Sound here). Now the access speed and such is OK, BUT, whenever there's a bad storm my router and Modem get reset and I have to call tech support. Being a disorganized fellow I can never find the directions to fix this that I wrote down LAST time OR the phone number I need to call to get it. So I have to call customer support because NOWHERE ON THEIR FUCKING WEBSITE IS THE ACTUAL TECH SUPPORT NUMBER I NEED! So I have to sit through an hour of automated awfulness to be hung up on at least twice everytime I call to get it. So I've been down for a week but of course I'll have to pay for the whole month. I'm in the tech biz. They should be able to fix this remotely from an email request from another location. "Oh you're down? Let me reset that for you. *click* Done!" But no. While I'm on the subject, their wireless service blows too. Oh it worked great in Manhattan (unless there was an actual emergency) but here in bumblefuck Westchester I drop every call I make or recieve at least once. If I walk from the cab to the curb forget about it.
They said it was my $30 phone (the one that worked like a charm in the city). Next cheapest phone? $250. "WHAT?!?!" "We promise the service will be better AND only $50 for the phone if you sign this two year contract." I'm desperate. I sign. Service is worse than ever. In summary VERIZON CAN SUCK MY BALLS and as soon as the contract is up I will ditch their slimy company and never use their services again just like I did with Sprint. You may say that has no effect but you know what? If every customer they fuck does that they will soon have no business. So fuck them running. Bah. Rant mode off.

Gee-zus!

All of Hugh Macleod's recent cartoons speak straight to my heart in a very painful way. That frightens me quite a bit. Spent the weekend working on my boat, Gala. She says "hello".

long weird fishtank dream post

I think I might have had this dream because of Blondie's fishtank blog which I was reading yesterday and one of who's fish is above. This morning I dreamed I had a room mate and it was his birthday. Who this guy was I dunno but he and his girlfriend were in "our" apartment celebrating his birthday and getting generally drunk. Someone had gotten him and large and expensive pair if fish tanks, one on top of the other and filled with beautiful tropical fish of all sorts. This was odd because there were several other large fish tanks around the apartment that were either empty or contained only water. Now it gets weird. He's not especially excited about the fish tanks and so he takes his other gift, some sort of weird laser-pointer-gun thing, and starts shooting at the floor of the upper fish tank until it melts through. Now the water and some fish are draining from the upper tank into the lower tank but it's clear the lower tank can't hold all the water and it's overflowing everywhere. He seems unconcerned, kind of laughing about it and I'm PISSED, yelling at him to help clean up the mess of all the water and help me save these fish. He is unconcerned and unimpressed. The water is buckling the floor beneath the fish tanks and the floor is all spongy and I'm thinking (and yelling) about the 50 odd gallons of water seeping into the downstairs neighbors apartment. Now I start trying to move the many various fish to the other tanks, worried that the shock of changing water will kill them (this is a concern with fishtanks). Some of the fish are way too large for the little gold fish net and I'm like, shoving these giant fish half way into the net and holding thier tails and to get them over into another tank. Why I didn't just put them all in the lower tank I dunno. Anyway as I'm shuttling the fish to the new tank I notice the water level going down considerably and I realize the back of the tank is coming off! Oh crap! Now I have to move all these fish AGAIN! By this time the water level in both tanks containing fish is so low that they're flapping around in the sand completely unable to breathe and I'm freaking out, shaking them off and dropping them in yet another tank. Some are recovering but not all and it becomes clear we're going to lose a lot of fish and that there's going to be A TON of water damage to the apartment and then I more or less woke up feeling all stressed. There were some mighty weird fish I might add. The strangest thing was the...cow-ish...fish. It was like a miniature blue cow but it breathed water. There was also a big assed trout about 15 inches long and an Oscar like the one in the pic and lots of various little goldfish and fish fish fish fish fish! FISH.

How I Rolls HNT

My other ride is a hot blonde. Hope y'all enjoyed the best blonde joke ever, below. Actually, it's a Packard. As in "I Packered in my Rolls, jumped on the blonde and RODE." Or sumpum' like that.
Beep Beep, M, Beep Beep YEAH!

Best. Blonde. Joke. Ever.

You have to see it for yourself.

Super Freaky

I wrote Saturday how I dreamed that My Future Wife and I had twin girls named Stasha and Tasha. That is Anastasia and Natasha. I didn't think anything of it though it was a pleasant dream and that in itself is rather odd in light of my former views on having children. We were happy; overjoyed in fact. Today, on a whim, I looked up the names. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. Anastasia means "Resurrection". Natasha means "Rebirth". Whoa. Twin girls named Resurrection and Rebirth? Considering my recent return to the church that's especially freaky. What's going on here with my subconscious? There are no coincidences and I know for sure I never knew what those names meant. Insert Twilight Zone theme here. Weird.

Raptors!

Owls and Eagles and Falcons, oh my! Here I am with Athena the Banded Owl. Her name was Mercury until she laid an egg. Apparently these critters can be hard to sex. (Insert joke here) Tonight was my Intro to Raptor Handling class at Teatown Lake Reservation. Absolutely AWESOME!!! We learned a lot about raptors, which are birds that seize their prey with their talons. The woman, Deanna, who took this pitcure for me said I looked "noble". I want a new tattoo for the bare right arm. This bird and I had an instant connection. She liked me and said so with her eyes. The handlers expressed surprise that I knew so much about the birds and asked me if I'd handled before. In my usual fashion I studied up quite a bit and used the terminology comfortably. Even so I learned quite a bit and took extensive notes. I plan to join the club and undergo the complex training involved in maintaining these beautiful creatures. It requires a one year, once a week, commitment. I'm ready. What is it with me and commitment lately? Athena is the only bird that wasn't injured. She was an illegal pet seizure. (Insert joke here) Raptors are extensively protected and regulated at the federal and local levels. To quote Strongbad "I've a passing interest in falconry." Actually hunting with these beautiful animals must be quite an experience. I may go on a hunt. These guys don't do that. They're strictly preservation. I'm generally opposed to hunting with a gun but this is something else again. An ancient skill like sailing that must be preserved. I visited Gala today and did some work on her. Very much looking forward to the sailing season. In other unrelated news I dreamed last night that my future wife and I had twin girls and their names were Stasha and Tasha. That is Anastasia and Natasha. Good dream. Things are going well. I thank God. I look forward to church tomorrow.

Blast From The Past and HNT

Not the most flattering picture of me but it IS summer time, it IS on my boat, Gala. This is really an after thought shot. I haven't been much inclined to take or post anything at all but I hate to let y'all down as I do love seeing you all here. SPECIAL SHOUTOUT to one of my oldest and dearest friends who's been reading for a couple of weeks and finally got 'round to saying hello. Please give a warm welcome to Screen Name Boycott! Hey! The crowd goes wild! Hopefully I'll be posting some of SNB's lovely writing sometime soon. Must get permission first. Meantime go to the previous post and make with the clicky on the linkys. Lovely new tunesies for your lovely little earsies. Moresies to comesies. My God, where are my meds? Cheers! I go to fight a ticket. Hopefully I won't wind up in jail. it was JUST a STOP SIGN! Geez!

New Song

OK, I have 9 songs for the new release. I think I need three more. I'm never satisfied with anything. I hear all the little mistakes writ large. They're all really demos but still...
Today's new song is first. Give a listen, leave a comment, enjoy.
Love's 2 Dangerous - new
Fiddler's Green
Castaway
Brenda's Song
You Back Down - remixed
C'est Fini
Pictures To Prove It
Footsteps
Dumped

The great unknown

The audition went well. I showed up early and the guy who was supposed to be before me didn't show up. Therefore instead of a half hour I got in about 90 minutes of serious jamming. It was really fun. 90% of life is showing up! When the handsome and talented black singer and leader of the band said "You got soul brother." I felt great. Can their be any higher praise? I am a funk soul brother! Check it out now! OK, I'm over it. It was a great time. Let' s hope it pans out.

More new songs

I'm really happy with the way Castaway came out.
Castaway
Pictures To Prove It
Brenda's Song -
You Back Down
Dumped
Fiddler's Green
C'est Fini
Footsteps
Much love to you my friends and thanks for listening. Please vote for your favorite.
Anyone have any thoughts on song order for the full CD? More to come...

Avast! Shanghaied!

Well, I'm auditioning Sunday here in New York for a 3 month residence at The House Of Blues.
In ShangHai China as a bass player for a funk/blues band. The Details: Carlton Smith at The House of Blues Shanghai - 6 nights a week (monday's off) - 3 45-minute sets a night - standard funk & blues. James brown, brick house, mustang sally, etc... $600 US per week, cash. A little more than half what I'd make at my current job. My own hotel room and travel accomodations, all expenses paid. March 1st - May 30th. They have to decide by next week. I sense a whirlwind brewing. I wonder if I can ride it? I'd be in Shanghai on my birthday Mar. 1st. In fact, if I have this right, my birthday will be 36 hours long. It would be a 12 hour journey during which I gain 12 hours. I'd leave at 8 AM and arrive in China at 8AM the same day. Weird. Wish me luck. That would certainly take my mind off my current problems. I know a little Chinese. That'd improve it quick. Ni hao Shang Hai! BTW I added two new songs to the 4 already in Monday's post below.

HNT & New Music

I was too bummed to take a new HNT pic. I was busy writing & recording the songs below. Have a listen to the mp3's and have your hankies ready. My fave is Fiddler's Green's, which is a sailor's term for Heaven, Davy Jones' locker being hell/a watery grave. This is the tattoo Brenda got for me. My permanent reminder of her temporary feeling.

New Songs

These MP3s take 15 to 30 seconds to download on my DSL line.
Brenda's Song - the best love song I ever wrote.
You Back Down - a musical history of the loss of the love of my life.
Dumped - which pretty much says it all.
Fiddler's Green -A very Irish sounding ballad, sad and sweet.
C'est Fini - Don't say it's over, 'cause it ain't over
Footsteps - You make my footsteps firm. With God everything is possible.
Much love to you my friends and thanks for listening. Please vote for your favorite.

All songs copyright Andy Toomey 2005

A New Leaf

Black trees of pain. I've been posting way too much about lost love and giving way too much detail. For a while I'm going to say what I have to say with art and music. With God everything is possible. If the pain leads me back to God it has served God and I'm grateful for it. I'm becoming a regular God Junky. I'll take it.

Church

Well the new year is off to a mighty strange start. I woke up this morning and did something extremely uncharateristic of me. I went to church. Let me tell you, THAT'S desperation. I got thinking about it last night and it was the first (OK the second) thing on my mind when I woke up. I threw on some clothes and drove to St Augustine's. It's right next to where Brenda lives. Yes she goes there (very rarely) with her girlfriend/neighbor that I know she was out with last night. Lest you think I'm stalking her I didn't go there to see her. I went to talk to God. In person, so to speak. Was I secretly hoping she might be there and see me? Probably, although frankly I wouldn't have wanted her to see what I did. I cried like a baby. I walked in about 10 minutes before Mass (I luckily guessed it was at 10AM). I sat about halfway down in the back and lost it. It's pretty hard to cry hysterically and still be quiet but I did a pretty good job. I got down on my knees and cried my eyes out (something I hadn't really been able to do before) and begged God to please give me the strength to make it through this and, if it His will to Please, Dear God, please bring back my Brenda to me. Amen. I haven't been a practicing catholic since I was about 10.
A funny thing:I made it through the service without any major fuckups I guess, except that I forgot that when it's time for communion you walk up there whether you're taking communion or not. Since I hadn't gone to confession I couldn't take communion. That way everyone goes back to their seats in the same order. I just sat there and people had to skootch by me. I would have laughed if I weren't crying so hard. I felt bad when it was time to shake everyone's hand (the 'peace be with you' thing). Firstly, it was clear that peace was not with me and secondly both hands were covered in tears and snot. Whatever, they shook my hand anyway.
I kept crying for a while in the car after we left. Finally I was all cried out. Strange thing though; I was hungry afterward for the first time in 5 days. That's good because I was pretty much starving myself to death. Since I can't smoke or drink anymore food will have to come back into play.

I guess after the greif stage comes the rage stage. Stay tuned for bitter vitriol.