Thursday, August 31, 2006

Free Guitar Lesson

Some of you lamented your lack of playing ability. Here I present a FREE LESSON : I get $60 an hour to teach. That's $1 a minute and I spent about an hour on it. You're welcome. HNT below:
Buy an electronic tuner. Now. They're cheap and indispensable. Tuning is hard as fuck to learn when you're inexperienced. These help your ears learn.
2. Change your strings often, at least once a month. Have a pro teach you how to do it right, then do it yourself. Or pay a setup guy. Whatever.
3. Wipe your guitar down after every session. It prevents rust on the strings and other metal parts.
4. Keep your guitar in it's case whenever you aren't playing. Trust me.
5. Take your guitar out of it's case as often as possible.
6. Playing is muscle memory. You WILL make FAR more PROGRESS playing ten minutes every day than you will for an hour once a week. Trust me.
7. LISTEN. You ears are at least as important as your hands. Listen to great recordings of artists you admire. Copy them if you can, or get tab or have someone show you.
8. Read everything you can on the subject.
9. Teacher's are expensive and it's hard to find a good one. You are your own best resource. Remember that they work for you.
10. Ignore your detractors. If they can't play you're better than them. If they're better than you tell them to show you how to do it better or STFU.
11. Go easy on yourself. Never tell yourself you suck. Give yourself credit. You'll always be better than someone and worse than someone else.
12. Never, never, never, never, never give up. No one ever said "God I'm so glad I gave up playing!"
13. Practice SLOW AND RIGHT. Fast and wrong is useless. So is wrong and strong. Get it right, THEN speed it up. If you succeed in doing this tell me how.
14. When memorizing here's a trick: Play the last note. Now the last two. Now the last three. BY the time you get to the beginning you've played the whole thing 500 times and you're always working forward into KNOWN TERRITORY. This was one of the most useful things I ever learned. Thanks Mark!
15. Relax! Breathe! It takes a shockingly miniscule amount of pressure to hold down a string. I strangled the friggin thing for years and it just makes you slow and tense.
Use as little pressure as you can and be relaxed. Tension is the source of all slowness.
16. Get a metronome and practice with it (slowly!). Good timing is an important key to good musicianship.
17. As often as possible play with others, preferably others who are better than you. They'll both help and inspire you. See # 10.
18. Protect your ears. If you play above a whisper use earplugs. Your ears are more sensitive than you think and you'll miss them when they're gone. For reals yo.
19. If you're writing your own stuff and it sounds good to you? It IS good. See # 10 again.
20. Play motherfucker. PLAY! It's never to late to learn. Buy a guitar already! Sheesh!

Here's a great link on music theory for guitar.
I recommend at least learning to read rhythm. Tab is good too for other reasons but some basic theory is essential to figuring things out by ear.
Here's more general theory and links:
Here's a good link on open tunings. For those of you with limited fretting skills this will open up a new world of possibilities, especially with a slide.
Interesting fingerstyle link:
A vast array of tabs, links, literature, lessons, etc...
This used to be vastly more useful than it is now, but still a good source for beginner lessons.
The theory link was good. You might find some good stuff here too:
Finally, if anyone has other links they'd like to share please leave them in the comments and/or email me. A long first lesson, I know, but...wear it. If any of you found this useful please let me know. If there's a serious interest in this stuff maybe I'll post more regularly on the subject. Lord knows I have enough to post. Speak up y'all! Some may disagree with me, some may have their own opinions on these things, etc... You're welcome to them but please post them on YOUR blog. Malcontents and complainers will be fed to the sharks. Slowly. :-) Sincere or lengthy questions should be directed to me via email.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Big Strong Paws 2-4-1 HNT

In light of my recent posts about guitars, agressive handling, and sloppy technique I bring you these shots of my most useful tools. I always thought they were my best feature. Well, maybe 2nd best. I never thought about it before but I have some big paws on me. From the tip of my thumb to the tip of my pinky is half the length of my guitar neck for Pete's sake! That reminds me of something they say about the proportions of one's hands...what was it? Oh well. Anyway HHNT from me and my big paws. Update: I forgot to say we won racing last night (again) and for a change instead of going home and getting obliterated I stayed sober. Hard work.

I just LOVE these guys!

Go read the Cyanide and Happiness archives at Just go. RIOT!

I still have severe guitar lust. I WANT that 1968 natural finish Stratocaster w/white pickguard. Want. It.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


Yes, for some reason I have a great urge to purchase this guitar. I find the 70's style head stock very appealing to the eye and the natural finish is gorgeous. Just look! In point of fact there are many good reasons why I should not buy this particular instrument. Shortage of cash being cheif among these but also the $700+ price tag is somewhat steep given that it was, in fact, made in Mexico. It is brand new. There is nothing to suggest it would be superior in any way to the guitar I already spent $700 on some years back and that one is indeed made in America. It's a black 1983 re-issue of a 1956 strat made completely to the original specs. It's a good instrument although the high e string has a tendency to slip off the fret board due in part to my aggressive handling of the thing and in part to my sloppy technique. Like a gorgeous 19 year old with no substance I lust after this music machine. I want to cradle it in my arms and TOUCH it. Fondle it, caress it, stroke it, evoke little cries of joy from it. Ahem. Like the 19 year old though I imagine that it LOOKS a lot better than it actually IS. I still want it though. That is all.

Sir Blogs-A-Lot

Seems like I've been posting a lot lately. I dunno why. Brain dump I guess. My new friend Bob the Drummer recently referred to what he called my OBSESSION with Stevie Ray Vaughn, pictured here with his famous '59 Strat he called #1 or "First Wife". Notice how the whammy bar is on top? He used a lefty bridge presumably because HE was "obsessed" with Hendrix. Jimi played a right handed guitar lefty and claimed to really like having the whammy and volume/tone knobs on top. Anyway, back to the word OBSESSION; Not so much I'm thinking. Sure I like the guy's music (most of it) and I like playing it. He was beyond compare as a player, no doubt. I don't see myself as a Stevie Ray wanna-be although I'm sure some people might. Fortunately I couldn't give a flying f*ck what most people think. Either they'll like the music I'm doing or not. I have many obsessions and fetishes, but in general musicians are not among them.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Good Mood Nude!

Just for the record I'm in a particularly good mood today. Have been all day. I didn't even need drugs! Whoa! Dude! Yes, I know that's unusual lately hence I comment upon it here so you won't think I'm perpetually a Prick O' Misery. I'm going to the gym after work for the first time in what seems like several weeks and then I'm going home to practice my guitar hopefully without the beer that's so addicted to me.

Well this says it all doesn't it?

I laughed so god damned hard when I saw this that beer shot out of my nose. OK, not really. It was coffee. It's 9AM for God's sake! What do you think it is? Saturday? Well it's time for a long and meaningless meme again. I got this from Indigo.
Thanks kid!

50 Random Things:

1. My roommate and I once: got so drunk we passed out. Wait, did I say once?
2. Never in my life have I: wanted a boring life. Well, maybe once.
3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile is: Miss B.
4. High school was: a waste so I didn't go. Go directly to work, then directly to college. Miss 4 years of homework. Suck it losers.
5. When I'm nervous: I bite my nails like a MFer
6. The last time I cried was: over a woman. Foolish, I know.
7. If I were to get married right now, my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be: Seth, Lyle and Mike.
8. Would you rather run naked through a crowded place or have someone e-mail your deepest secret to all your friends? Walk naked. Unless chased. Then run.
9. My hair: is long, dark and wavy.
10. When I was 5 I: should have known better.
11. Last Christmas: was like every Xmas. Not a big fan.
12. When I turn my head left: my neck hurts.
13. I should be: working. Or working out.
14. When I look down I see: Beer gut! Off to the gym tonight!
15. The craziest recent event was: eh, you were there.
16. If I were a character on "Friends" I'd be: the producer. Or maybe the writer or composer.
17. By this time next year: I hope to have conquered the world. Or at least this area.
18. My favorite aunt is: dead.
19. I have a hard time understanding: people.
20. One time at a family gathering: there was an argument over a shot gun that nearly ended with an axe.
21. You know I like you if: I haven't punched you.
22. If I won an award, the first person (people) I'd thank: All thanks to God from whom all things procede!
23. Take my advice: do it. Just do that f*cker.
24. My ideal breakfast is: bacon, eggs up, homefries, OJ and coffee.
25. If you visit my home town: go to the mall.
26. Sometime soon I plan to visit: Maine. Yes, Maine.
27. If you spend the night at my house: get ready to party!
28. I'd stop my wedding if: I can't even start the f*cker!
29. The world could do without: all these damned people.
30. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: ...uh, no nevermind. I'll pass on THAT thanks.
31. The most recent thing I've bought myself is: A book and some CDs.
32. The most recent thing someone else bought for me is: a portable amp. Thanks Seth!
33. My favorite blonde is: Miss B.
34. My favorite brunette is: Miss B.
35. My car must have a sign on it that reads: Hazardous materials.
36. The last time I was drunk: was last night. And the night before. Etc...
37. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds: People. Imagine taking a real flying f*ck!
38. I shouldn't have been: doing that.
39. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair? Not so much.
40. Last night I: Played my guitar until midnight.
41. There's this girl I know who: I'd do anything for.
42. I don't know: why.
43. A better name for me would be: Rex Guitarz.
44. If I ever go back to school I'll: become a f*cking lawyer.
45. How many days until my birthday?: Don't know; don't care.
46. One dead celebrity I wish I'd met is: Marilyn Monroe buns up and kneeling.
47. I've lived at my current address for: two years.
48. I've been told I look like: Bono. About a million times.
49. If I could have any car, it would be: Red Barchetta. No wait, 57 Black Vincent. No wait...
50. If I got a new cat tomorrow, I would name it: Dog food. I hate cats. Oh they're cute and cuddly but they don't make good pets. Stinky, dirty, sheddy, screaming... Bah.
Out doors with you. Go catch some friggin mice.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

More Blues Musings

Well I jammed with some more good players this weekend who responded to my ad. I think I'm going to play with them for a while, at least until they go insane. It's harder than you might think to find competent musicians who aren't nuts in some special way. We all have drug problems, ego problems, attitude problems, girlfriend/wife/family problems, car problems, legal problems ad nauseum et infinitum. That's why we became musicians in the first place I suppose. It takes a particular kind of kook to play an instrument long enough and with enough diligence to become competent at it. Anyways hopefully there'll be some fun and interesting recordings for y'all to fill your ears with soon. As always tons of love, peace and all that happy horseshit.
Your humble obnoxious, egotistical, unapproachable asshole wanna-be psuedo-musican,

Meanwhile go visit Lunanina and play our unconcious mutterings free association game.
Here's this weeks entry:
  1. Visit :: The in-laws
  2. Cake :: Frosting
  3. Period :: Paragraph
  4. Triumphant :: Return
  5. Screen :: Play
  6. Neglect :: Abuse
  7. Guitar :: Solo
  8. Loathe :: Fear
  9. Sugar :: Magnolia
  10. Montage :: Collage


My old buddy Mike (the drummer here) sent me this pic the other day of us playing at Violet's, a jazz club in Greenwich Connecticut some years back. You may notice that Mike and I are SMOKING! INSIDE a BAR! Amazing, I know. Shocking immorality. That's Jeff Smith playing the keyboards. He's a kick ass bebop player. The phrase I heard in this band more than any other was "Take another chorus!" Oy! We must have played Giant Steps a million times. We would purposely play hard stuff as fast as we could BECAUSE it was hard. Why? I can't now recall but it seemed like fun at the time. Except for my poor fingers! I should have switched to fretless electric but I liked the look of the upright. "Standup" Toomey, that's me. My car broke down on the way to this gig and I had to walk to a pay phone and get my buddy and roomate Seth to drive me to the gig. I left the car by the side of the road. Ah, the good old days.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Thought For The Day

Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.

People Are Strange / FOAD Friday

People are strange. Musicians doubly so. I tried out this rhythm section last Saturday. No great shakes. Ordinarily I would have said 'Thanks but no thanks." but because they seemed nice I decided to give them a 2nd shot. I should have known this deal was fucked when between the two guys I must have had 50 pages of email before we even played a note and the biggest point of contention was the fucking name of the band. I should have told them the name was Jesus Christ since that's what I ended up saying more than anything else. Anyway, to make long story short the drummer calls me last night all bent out of shape going "My head's going to explode. There's too much tension in the band. We quit." I'm like "WHAT THE FUCK?" It's a BAND. What's the big fuckin deal? You learn your parts, show up, play, get paid and go home. I can't understand people. They act like it's all personal. Whatever. Thank God I didn't hire these guys and then have them bow out on me before (or in the middle of) a gig because "There's too much tension in the band." What the hell is THAT crap? Sheesh. Welcome to Fuck Off And Die Friday. Have a nice weekend.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

What happiness looked like HNT

Back in November I knew joy. I was in command. In control. Now? Not so much. In this pic I was sure that I had found my place in the world; that we would soon be married and have beautiful children together. I was so sure. I believed. Now? Not so much.

The race team won last night's sailboat race however and that's something. We kicked ass. My regulars will say "Eh, so what? You always win." Not always. Sometimes we get our asses handed to us. Kind of like life.

I recently told my bloggy friend Felicity "Your blog is so depressing! You're always miserable and bitching!" She was shocked. "What?" says she, "But I'm such a happy go lucky person!" Since then she's had a much better bloggy attitude even in the face of adversity. I'm impressed. I need to take my own advice. A musician friend described this as "Your Depressing Blog." Sheesh! Not so much! It's more like "The Blog of a Bi-Polar Bear." When I'm good I'm very very good and when I'm bad I'm horrid. Eh, what-the-fuck fuck fuckity fuck? HHNT.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Better things

After Monday's depressing meme I decided to post this pic because it shows me happy. I'm in a really great mood here. I'm about to play a rooftop party full of people. There's plenty of beer and beautiful girls to look at. The love of my life still loved me, or so I thought at least. As for better things I have a bunch of gigs in the immediate future. I'll post the intinerary soon. I have a new car. I'll soon have a new kick ass blues band to burn the stratosphere with my stratocaster. I'm going sailing tonight. I got a call from a publisher requesting the rest of my novel. What could be better? Lot's of other good stuff is happening but you'll just have to wait to find out what. I got new batteries for my camera so I'll be taking so intersting HNT pix I hope. That's all for now. Current mood: no longer suicidal. Hopeful even.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Mindless Monday Meme

Well, this meme is going around like a cold so WTF? I got nothing else.

2 moments in your life I’d like to erase:
The day we killed our unborn child.
The day his mother overdosed leaving her young son (not mine) to find her dead.

4 moments I'd like to relive:
Sex with the love of my life. Everytime.
Any one of many trios.
My first time with a woman.
The last time.
Hey! A theme!

2 places I wouldn’t want to go again:
Grand Bahama was dull. Nothing to do but gamble, which I don't.
The house I grew up in (it's gone anyway).

4 places I can’t wait to visit/visit again:
Too many to list.
Throw a dart at a map.
Don't hit Africa or the middle east.

2 foods I can’t stand:

4 foods I love:
Hot wings
Filet mignon and lobster tail
BBQ shrimp
Sushi (tuna)

2 current songs that make me change the station:
Anything top 40. Music sucks these days.
Most so-called R&B/hip-hop/rap. What happened to Public Enemy and N.W.A.?
And get off my lawn you damned kids!

4 current songs I play over and over:
Any Stevie Ray Vaughn
Any Hendrix
Any Led Zep
Any U2

2 books I’d never finish/read again:
The Bible/Torah/Koran (Quran, whatever the fuck). Organized religion sucks.
Uh...I dunno. I like reading.

4 books I have read more than once:
Far too many to list
Any Jimmy Buffett book
Any sailing book
Any decent sci-fi
And of course...any erotica

Current mood: Hating it. All of it.


Sometimes I'm just flat out fucking disgusted. That's all I have to say about that.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Weekend recap - New Car!

Well, last week my van decided that reverse was no longer an option. Fuck! After hemming and hawwing over what to do for a while I decided to lease a new car for a while. I went with 3 years/15,ooo miles a year for $242 a month. I got a Subaru. Several friends have them and everyone swears by them so hopefully it will last. I tried out a rhythm section for the new band I'm putting together. The recording came out mediocre but they were cool so we'll see. I played Sunday night for an empty house which sucked but hey I got paid so WTF? It's hard to get people to come out on a Sunday night! Anyway...that's all I got. I hope you were good while I was away. If not I hope you had fun.

Friday, August 18, 2006

The Nose Knows

A Promise is A Promise MG. There ya go. Up the nose. Call it a late HNT entry. More band name foolishness: How about The Hammerheads? The X-Rays? Ray was in the band but we had to kill him. Since Exit 69 was deemed "too sexual" (Oy!) does anyone have a feel for Exit 68? Other name suggestions are still being entertained. Vote early but not often!

Yeah Baby!

I laughed out loud so hard when I saw this. I am DEFINITELY sticking this on my guitar! I got it from SPITFIRE who I just luv! I loves me some Spitfire commenty goodness. Plus not only is she funny, she's HOT! How come all the Texas blogging babes are so all-fired gosh-darned smokin'? Actually, ALL my southern belle bloggers are Of The Uber-Hotness! What up wit dat? Send some of that fine stuff up North will ya? Sheesh! (note: MG I'll get the pic up ASAP. Alcohol got in the way.) As a social experiment I didn't comment on anyone's HNT who didn't comment here first (yet) to see who was coming around only because I commented them first. You, my regular readers? I love you! Thanks for coming. Now to comment the rest of those bastards.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

HNTChallenge and Band Names

Having accepted, lost and negotiated an agreement with MG I will be forthcoming with an HNT shot for her later this evening as I collapsed in exhaustion when I returned home last night. Meanwhile here's one fully nekkid except for the bass guitar (and socks I cropped out) that some (but not all) have seen of me touring Spain with a metal band. The race last night was long and there was no breeze. It was eventually cancelled when no one finished in the allotted 2 hours. Bah. Re: Band Names - My God People! Of all the suggestions there was only one entry which tickled my fancy, and that was EXIT 69. I like that because exiting a 69 generally means we're moving on to the main event! Alas my future band mates nixed the idea as too sexual. What the hell does THAT mean? Too sexual! Those words just don't go together. For all the fuss made over the name these guys better be awesome or I'ma open up a can O' Whoopass hand out some beat downs. 'Cause I'm ghetto like dat yo. Word to ya mutha. Peace out dawgs.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


Well, I see now why they're called George Thorogood and The Delaware Destroyers! They destroyed me. Awesome! 'Twas a fun show. All good fun. Money well spent. It's nice to see he's still got it. It was a little weird because all the dudes in the band were so OLD! That made me feel old but what the hell? I still stayed up partying all night and made it n to work. Somehow. Racing tonight is going to be tough. I still have to take a new HNT pic for MG's challenge.
For the record you all suck at coming up with band names. Even worse than me! Whatsamatta witchall? Bring that shit in!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

George Thorogood

George Thorogood tonight @ B.B. King's. W00T! Bad to the bone. When you have the blues listen to the blues. And drink. A lot. And now, some mutterings:

Kim :: Carnes
Designate :: you lover's fate
Liner :: notes
Weed :: Head
Infusion :: Plasma
Nutritious :: Food
Favorites :: Add to
Transform :: ers, more than meets the eye
42 :: Life the universe and everything
Sunday afternoon :: in the park

Weird one this week.

Monday, August 14, 2006

The Votes Are In

Well, not really. Only a few people commented. The overwhelming majority of folks I talked to didn't like "So-and-So and the Somethings" as a band name. Thus it seems we need something else entirely. So let's have it folks. Give me a band name for the ages. I expect nothing short of excellence from y'all so shake it and bake it, swing it and bring it.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Vote for a Band Name ?

OK boys and girls, a little help please? I realize band names are trite, trivial and pretentious.
However, for advertising purposes, I need one. Therefore I submit these for your vote.
Write-ins will be considered. Please pick one and leave your vote in the comments. Thanks!

AndyT13 and The Vicious Cats
AndyT13 and The Pink Elephant (blue elephant? Pink polka dot? Purple microdot?)
AndyT13 and The Magic Flowers
AndyT13 and The Rattlesnake Shake
AndyT13 and Irresistable Bliss.
AndyT13 and Sho'Nuff

I have a favorite but we'll see what you say. I'll announce a winner on Friday to give the HNTers a vote.

Lucky 13 Rides Again

Well, for whatever reason I decided to break out my Stratocaster and start doing the blues again. I really don't know what's possesed me to do so since the solo gigs are so lucrative and so easy and being in a band is such a pain in the ass. Nevertheless I took out an ad on Craig's list and found a rhythm section that knows the tunes and seems promising. We'll see after I hear them but they've been playing together for a while and can sing so that's a step in the right direction. I'm itching to shred some Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughn. Lord, watch-the-fuck out, AndyT and Lucky 13 rides again.
Update: GADS! I googled lucky 13 band and found a bazillion of them! I've been using the name or a while but clearly not original enough. Therefore I put it to you, my bloggy peeps: Who would be good for AndyT13 to be playing with? Think Stevie Ray Vaughn and Double Trouble. I eagerly await your silly band names. I'm serious though, a good one might get chosen. :-) Have at you!

Gig wrap up

Well, the gig at Justin Thyme went great I guess. I played 8:30 - 10:45 with two short breaks. People seemed to dig it so I think I'll get another gig there. Tricia showed up which was way cool. I love me some blogger support especially since she's from Georgia and I'm in NY (hear that MG?). Life seems to be getting busy and complicated. Lotsa people and activity jumping around. I found a rhythm section so it appears I'll be playing guitar and singing in a band again. I kinda wanted to continue just doing the solo gigs but frankly it's less fun. Every time it's time for a solo I'm either whistling it or faking it. That's kinda weak. Maybe I'll think differently about it after a few gigs with them but we'll see.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Strong like bull HNT

For some reason this pic always makes me laugh. Strong like bull indeed. This was last November and I'm in SO MUCH better shape now it's ridiculous. By the end of the year I really want the sculpted abs though. I wanna be of t3h H@wtne$$!!!!!1 HHNT y'all. I'm kinda running out of ideas for new HNTs. Gimme. Difficulty: no c@ck shots. You want to see that you have to ask in person. ;-)

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Another meme

Ganked from Erica Da Supafly - this meme spoke to me. "Do me." it said. I can't resist that.

1. If you could only keep one of your five senses, which would you keep?
Touch. At least I could still get off.

2. If you had to spend one year alone in the wilderness, where would you go?
The Caribbean. Duh.

3. If you could enact one law in your country that does not currently exist, what would it be?
Minimum intelligence test before allowing breeding. Low enough score results in sterilization. NO, RLY.

4. If you were kidnapped and allowed to call one person for one minute only, who would you call?
My lover, to say goodbye since no one's paying any ransom for me and I'm gonna die.

5. If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do?
Clown I imagine. More likely I'd be playing in the orchestra or whatever. Shoot me out of a cannon?

6. If you could change the ending of any one book ever written, which one would you pick, and how would you change it?
The bible. Revelations never sounded very good to me. Let's just have a parcheesi tournament or something.

7. If you had to cancel one day of the week forever, which day would go?
Good bye Wednesday! Two days on, one day off, two days on, two days off! Love it!

8. If you were to be given an acting role in a current T.V. show, who would you want to play?
Uh...The new chef for South Park? I'm not much for TV... What's a current show?

9. If you could wear only one color, besides black or white, for the rest of your life, what would you wear?
Purple friggin ploka dots. Stoopid farking question. Light blue, OK? Sheesh.

10. If you could have the answer to any question, what would you ask?
This is the sort of question I could mull over forever and never be satisfied.
I'm very short sighted at times. OK, how can I cure all cancer?
Then I get rich from curing cancer and help people besides! Win/Win!
What's more, while being rich won't buy happiness, it WILL buy a boat big enough to pull up right next to that fatherstabber. I like big boats parked next to happiness.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Blogger Sux! Can't upload pix! Ever!

What a piece of crap. It used to work so well but now I can never upload pix. Fuckers. I want more for

I wanted to post This and This from Hugh at Gaping Void. The guy clearly is tapped right into my life right now. Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck.

I missed some mutterings from Lunanina so here they are:

Affair :: s d'amour
Package :: Deal
Warner :: Brothers
Drop :: Acid
Balance :: checkbook bounce
Shore :: Sea
Confirmation :: Number
Nose :: flute
Talking :: points
Bend :: over

Italy :: France
Honk :: I'm reloading
Shades :: The future's so bright
Tool :: Bar
Modern :: Version
Tension :: Release
Conservative :: Repression
Weight :: Lifting
Insurance :: Policy
Political :: Scandal

Another meme I've been meaning to post:From Miss Elainie
I Do Not Talk Funny! What's wrong with the way I talk?
(Pick the word that is familiar to you or add one of your own)
1. Soda, Soft Drink, Soda Pop or Tonic
2. Hoagie, Sub, Po Boy, Grinder
Growing up they were always subs but here in NY they use the word "Wedge" which seems exclusive to Westchester NY.
3. Goobers or Peanuts Peanuts.
Goobers makes me think of boogers but Goober is like idiot. "Don’t be such a goober!"
4. Candlepin or Ten-Pin bowling
Those are two different things. Small balls vs. large. I prefer large kthx.
5. Dungarees or Blue Jeans
Just "jeans" unless I'm differentiating between the blue and the black.
6. Shopping Carriage, Shopping Cart, Buggy
7. Frappe or Milkshake
8. Jimmies or Sprinkles
We called them Jimmies growing up but here in NY they're called sprinkles.
9. Hot Dog or Frankfurter
"Hot dogs, get your kosher hot dogs here!"
10. Relative or Kin
11. Soda Crackers or Saltines
"Saltines." I never knew what soda crackers were.
12. Rubbish, Trash or Garbage.
"Trash" also "Recycling"
13. Rotary or Traffic Circle
"Rotary" They have those in Boston where I grew up.
14. Barbeque, Grill Out or Cookout
Shrimp on the barbie baby! We always said cookout growing up though.
15. Funnel Cake or Fried Dough
Fried dough. Yuck. I always wondered what Funnel Cake was!
16. Flapjacks, pancakes, or griddlecakes
"pancakes." Try getting French toast in France!
17. Bedroom Suite or Bedroom Suit
Someone suggested this had to do with furniture which I wouldn't have thought of.
A suite is something in a hotel.
18. Bundles, Sacks or Bags (of Groceries)
Front Entrance or Front Stoop
How about "front porch" or "front steps?"
20. Frying Pan or Skillet
Frying pan is round. A skillet (or griddle) is more square or rectangular.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Weekend wrap up

This weekend was rough. It was one of those weekends where even though things all kind of went OK (compared to how really bad and fucked up they could have been) I still came away feeling like shit. I'll spare you the details but it was tough. Very emo. Sunday I went sailing all day and in true form the current and wind were against me both directions. Never go anywhere in a sailboat that you're actually trying to get to on any sort of schedule. There's only 3 minds of wind: too much, not enough, or perfect but from the wrong direction. I had all of those. I forgot to eat (that's been happening a lot lately) so my blood sugar was really low prompting me to get in a very bad mood indeed. On the good side I managed to get my halyard down from the mast. Two hours each way and my buddy Huong climbed the mast and fixed the problem in litereally less than a minute. Amazing! Miraculously I got back in time to do the gig at The Grandstand. There were about 15 people all of whom dug it and an old friend (Frankie from the original Flood lineup) showed up unexpectedly. Anyway the owner liked it and wants to hire me regularly so that's great news. Cash is king baby. I'm all about the Benjamins yo.

Friday, August 04, 2006

The Sea Rabbit Strikes!

Jo of Searabbit fame finally took me up on the photoshop challenge from last Friday. Didn't she do good? You should check out her site. When she gets her photoshop groove on she's a wild fire. I probably won't be blogging much this weekend. There's just too much to do. Y'all play nice now and don't trash the place while I'm gone. I have to go give a nice old lady a permanamament. Putcha little paddies in the water and I'll be back before you're done.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Apologies HNT

Don't forget to come out and see me playing the following dates next week:
Sunday Aug 6th @ The Grandstand 7PM
197 Grand St Croton-on-Hudson NY 914-271-8033
Thursday Aug 10th @ Justin Thyme Cafe 8 PM
171 Grand St Croton-on-Hudson NY 914-271-0022
Apologies for the tone of self pity towards the end of the last post. It was late, I was drunk and feeling extremely bitter about my life. I'm better now. Thanks for your words of kindness my friends. Namaste. BTW here's the link to the NOVEL that was busted in the previous post. Stupid Blogger kept crashing when I was trying to fix it. Bah.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Meanwhile I got nothing

3:39 Wednesday AM - I want to write another novel; a better one, one I can get literary agents to actually fucking READ. Maybe I should have pitched publishing houses directly? My first one Dangerous Dreams had a couple of major first novel cliches but even so I think the writing is pretty good. Download the fucking thing and email me to tell me you love it or I suck or whatever. Maybe a good edit and another round of pitch letters is in order. Any editors up to the challenge? This newfound desire to write more is a result of reading Killing Yourself To Live by Chuck Klosterman. It's a good book and I recommend it. First person fiction is kind of dull in certain contexts but I like this guy. I want to look him up, call him and invite him out for a beer. This is because I want to associate with people who are younger, smarter and more talented than me. He'll probably ignore me. People who achieve a certain measure of success are always weirded out by people who experience their creativity and then want to associate with them. Being a Q-list celebrity I can relate to a certain extent. People I don't know find me and complement my creative efforts and want to hang out. I love this and do it eagerly but I wonder what it's like being a D-list celeberity. At what point do I start saying "Thanks but I'm busy tonight." or worse ignore their emails entirely? Stars are never as bright up close as they seem from far away. I made some changes to my website in hopes of driving sales. Please click and give me advice on how to do this better. I want to paint more and release this fucking CD that seems like crappy demos to me but everyone seems to like. Re-do the whole thing or go with the raw? That is the question. Also struggling with HNT. Anyone else feeling this way? Anyone there? Bueller?