3:39 Wednesday AM - I want to write another novel; a better one, one I can get literary agents to actually fucking READ. Maybe I should have pitched publishing houses directly? My first one Dangerous Dreams had a couple of major first novel cliches but even so I think the writing is pretty good. Download the fucking thing and email me to tell me you love it or I suck or whatever. Maybe a good edit and another round of pitch letters is in order. Any editors up to the challenge? This newfound desire to write more is a result of reading Killing Yourself To Live by Chuck Klosterman. It's a good book and I recommend it. First person fiction is kind of dull in certain contexts but I like this guy. I want to look him up, call him and invite him out for a beer. This is because I want to associate with people who are younger, smarter and more talented than me. He'll probably ignore me. People who achieve a certain measure of success are always weirded out by people who experience their creativity and then want to associate with them. Being a Q-list celebrity I can relate to a certain extent. People I don't know find me and complement my creative efforts and want to hang out. I love this and do it eagerly but I wonder what it's like being a D-list celeberity. At what point do I start saying "Thanks but I'm busy tonight." or worse ignore their emails entirely? Stars are never as bright up close as they seem from far away. I made some changes to my website in hopes of driving sales. Please click and give me advice on how to do this better. I want to paint more and release this fucking CD that seems like crappy demos to me but everyone seems to like. Re-do the whole thing or go with the raw? That is the question. Also struggling with HNT. Anyone else feeling this way? Anyone there? Bueller?
9 comments:
I'm listless too. Empty nesting, nothing pending, no more excuses: Time to paint.
fat, ugly, old undesireable: judging from your tales and the pix here, you're none of those things. However it's an inside job to change your self-perception.
For someone that's "got nothing," there was a lot there!
See what happens when you just start typing?
I don't think there's a reason for you to be self-loathing, but I understand.
Awww, c'mon handsome, we all know that is not true; you HAVE sex appeal, babe.
The album reminds me of Chili Peppers...one of my favorite bands.
well no beautiful women want to have sex with me and i feel fat old ugly and undesirable. so hey, yer one up on me.
do whatcha gotta do to clean things up to your satisfaction before putting them out there
you're a talented fellow. don't sell yourself short
I agree with Lime. Don't try to make it what you think people want. Just do what makes you happy/proud of the results and go with that.
You'll work your way through it. At least I believe you will.
well yeah - but some of us actually ARE fat ugly old and undesireable.
maybe you need a good kick in the pants...
Yep, I feel like that too. Not always, but sometimes. And I tried to download, and the url wasn't found :(
I feel like that sometimes - fat, ugly, old & undesirable. I think if one has a low(ish) self-esteem in general (like I tend to), those feelings are more likely to crop up when other things aren't quite right, even if there's proof happening that one *isn't* old, fat, ugly or undesirable.
anyway, I've just downloaded your doc & am going to read it when possible - thanks for sharing it! I'll let you know what I think after I've been able to read it :). meantime, DON'T give up! I'm sure, so long as you've put your best effort into the book, it just takes time & the right connections as long as you keep believing in yourself. good luck with it. x
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