Friday, April 14, 2006

Broken Hearts Are For Assholes

I guess that makes me an asshole. I miss you so much. I sit here at work and miss you. I go to the gym and miss you. I go to my boat and miss you. I go to the yacht club and miss you. Everyone asks how you are and I lie and say "Fine" because I don't want them to know. My few close friends are sick of talking to me because missing you is all I can talk about. Like right now. ILUSFM. Please come back.


AndyT13 said...

I dunno why I even posted this. It's boring now, even to me. Thanks for support.

ZooooM said...

Oh man do I remember times like these. I am sorry you are hurting. =(

MG said...

That sucks, I am sorry...
I know it's not going to make you feel better, but I do wish it could.

That's one of the worst kinds of pain.
wish I could take it away for you.

just know people care, and talk about it all you want...

AndyT13 said...

Thanks. All I can do is wait it out. Either she'll figure out she loves me and come back or she won't. The question will be by that time will I even want her back. *whiny child voice* I don't deserve this! I didn't do anything wrong! I've been good! Good I say!

Melissa said...

gawd, I remember this feeling well. This is how I was in December when my live-in bf left. just that numbing broken hearted pain you feel. You just want it to stop, so wanting them back is what makes sense.

Want to know how my story ended?
a few weeks after leaving He came over one night to watch a movie. I was happy he was here- we were going to talk, everything was going to be fine, I know it.
But I had this stomach ache I couldn't explain.
He arrives and makes a pot of coffee *felt like old times, but not quite*
I put the DVD in the player but then I pause. I'm standing in front of the tv for so long he says to me "You ok?"
"You need to go" I said, not looking at him
"You need to leave, now. I can't do this."
"Oh, well I just got here but we don't have to watch a movie if..."
I'm facing him now.
"NO! I mean, get out!! I can't have you in my LIFE anymore. I can't stand how you've made me wait like this. I'm worth having someone at least know they love me!! That much I know... get out!"
he's stunned, I'm crying..
"Melissa..." he says, but I'm pointing to the door.
.. and the rest is history.

So, one way or another you two will find your ending and one way or another this too shall pass.

MG said...

truth is sometimes, as hard as it is to hear, it's better to let them go

Bougie Black Boy said...

Hmmm. glad I stopped by here. you know i'm always ears if u wanna talk...

lime said...

i'm sorry andy. hugs to you.

Winterswan said...

Hey, A,
Here's the thing; I know that going out with you can sometimes be difficult because I did it (and I too had plenty of my own moments when I'm sure you wanted to strangle me as well!!!!), but the person you're with has to accept you the way you are. She shouldn't be trying to shape and change you into the exact image she wants you to take. If she loves you, she loves you!!! You're not a little puppy dog; if she wants a little puppy dog I guess she'll have to find one. Of course, I don't know what actually happened, but I'm finding myself getting a bit defensive of you, my friend, because I know about all the good qualities you have, because I never was much for puppy dog guys, and because I care about you deeply to this day. So, big hugs, I hope everything works out for the best, no matter what happens. If you ever want to talk I'm here.

Big E said...

Quit it, already. Be a man, for chrissakes, and get over her, already.

You need to MOVE ON with your life, NOW. Just assume that she is long gone. Nothing is more pathetic than a guy who can't let go.

You were a complete person when you got into this relationship, and I'm guessing you're at least that much now.

While I'm sure she has unique and wininng qualities, I can flat out guarantee you that there are 1,000,000 people out there who are just as fine or better.

While I don't know diddly squat about you (other than your inspiratoinal posts), I think that you are way bigger than all of this.

Take a moment to really enjoy your new freedom. Go down to the pub and have a cold one with the boys. Watch "Saw" or some old Clint Eastwood western. You're bigger than life, man. Quit being such a wussy boy.

Theresa said...

Just because we've all been there doesn't make your pain any less. It just means we know it totally sucks, but it's survivable. Unfortunately, those painful days and weeks seem to drag on forever.

Still, above everything else, YOU have a passion for life. Your pain is proportionate to your capacity for love. In this way your spirit is strong.

It's still okay to lean on your friends. You know, someday I'll be looking for you when I need support.

AndyT13 said...

Oh my lord. Man I need a new post here. Just to clarify things, in general I agree with The Big E...BUT the background is, I'm almost 40 years old. I never met a woman before that I loved this much and wanted to marry and have kids with. That just doesn't come along everyday. So to be rejected by her for some ephemeral "I need to get my head together" reason is very difficult. If it was "you drink and you beat me" I could understand. I treat her like gold and she disses me out of hand...that's hard to take. Anyway I'm going to try and find a new topic. This one is boring and starting to piss me off.

Big E said...

You GO, Big Dog!