Fuck 2006

This is without a doubt, beyond compare or exception the worst NewYear's Eve of my entire life. I haven't eaten in days, I can't sleep unless I'm drunk which I've been for several days. I can't imagine how I went to work. From the way my stomach feels I'm pretty sure I'm going to be throwing up blood pretty soon. I'm kind of looking forward to it actually. A nice long stay at the hospital should start the year off right. My hands are shaking uncontrollably and I have the good fortune of entertaining my sister and her boyfriend for the next several days. She looks worried.
Laurie gets the best bloggy friend of the year award for checking up on me. I'm sorry the news isn't good but my appreciation for your concern is unparalleled. Send me your snail mail addy and I'll mail you that painting you like. There is an upside here, however pale and pathetic. I've been writing and recording songs. I almost have enough for a post humous album. I'll post some mp3s for your perusal maybe tomorrow. Maybe there'll be a terrorist attack in Times Square and my pain will be instantly erased. Here's hoping. Ciao.

Requiem for my heart

I'm completely cold and dead inside. I shuffle around like a zombie, dead but to stupid to lie down. After years of holding that last little piece of my heart in reserve I finally got the courage to put all the chips on the table but the deal did not go my way. Now I'm an empty shell. Way to go Asshole. Back to your crypt now. Don't mind the rats and the maggots.

Song for the Dumped

I'm totally devastated. For no reason at all last night Brenda suddenly 'needs some space'. After all, it's not me she says. It's her. Yeah right. OK whatever. If anyone wants me I'll be in the corner with my head in a bag and an electrical cord wrapped around my throat. I wasn't going to do an HNT being all destroyed and whatnot, but since it's post your favorite week here you go. This is my fave because it reminds me that once I was so in love I didn't care what happened. I had faith that kindness and complete honesty would carry me through the darkest days. I guess all that evil shit the ex's wished on me how I would get hurt like I hurt them came true.

Hell Yes

I'm digging on Beck's new CD Guero today. Guero is mexican slang for a tall skinny white guy. I've always had sort of mixed feelings about him. I generally really like two or three songs on any given CD and think the rest is dreck. Also, the fact that he's a scientologist kind of puts me off. I really don't give a shit about people's religion since my feeling is that's all pretty much psychotic bullshit no matter what you "believe" whether it's the ghost of a 2000 year old Rabbi or Thetan monsters from outer space or the Id or whatever. I just find myself thinking about Tom Cruise when listening to Beck and thinking about Tom Cruise is never a good thing. I'll say this though, Beck's website is kind of cool. Anyway I was in Barnes and Noble and I listened to the first song 'e-pro' and liked it enough to drop 15 bucks for it. No wonder I liked it so much. It's the sampled riff from Whatcha Want? by the Beastie Boys. Apparently there's a nostalgia for that old school shit as evidenced by The Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia video on SNL. I've got zits on my friggin zeitgeist. Na na! Na na na na na na! Que onda guero? Anyhow in spite of myself I like 9 of the 13 songs so that's pretty good. I just got a package from Amazon.com and can't remember what I bought. Yay! Christmas surprise! Oh! It's the sequel to God's Debris! The Religion War! Good readin'! Puto!

Terrific Tuesday!

Merry Fuckin' Post Christmas! OK, really that headline was going to be Terrible Tuesday, but why be negative? Kinda shot from the weekend and the stress of the holidays but Miracle of Miracles; it's OVER! I love my family, truly I do and individually they are stellar people but when they get together they can be a bit much to take. All sorts of weird interpersonal politics takes over and people get mighty snarky including me. Therefore copious quantities of alcohol were imbibed (by me anyway) and that took the edge off nicely. Now I am back on the wagon by which I mean that instead of getting hammered again yesterday I flew home and made nice with my baby instead. That's progress.
Anyway here's a nice pic of Brenda and I by our Christmas tree taken by her 9 year old nephew.

Merry Christmas!

No mouth! Well, Christmas is just about here and I can't wait for it to be over. Bring on 2006! New year's resolutions: Get over it. Go sailing. Quit all my bad habits. Paint, write, and play music more. Finish and sell my book and film. Start a new book and film. Maybe get married. I think I'd be satisfied if I could just get over it. I'm off to Richmond VA tomorrow morning at 4AM for two glorious days with the family. Wish me luck.

Missing Comments and HNT

Seems I enabled comment moderation. I don't recall doing so but you never know with me. Anyway something is busted. A few people emailed me to say "Hey I commented but I'm getting a message about how they're moderated now!" That's news to me because there's nothing on the moderate comments page. Methinks blogger is focked. Anyway, for HNT we supposed to write what we'd give our three favorite bloggers. Therefore Laurie gets a sunny day to ride her motorcycle, Lori gets more time to do all the stuff she likes, and Gigi gets a bodybuilder to f*ck her all night long every night for a month. That should do it! Happy HNT.

Wicked Whacky Wednesday

And here's a picture of a red tailed hawk! I'm very excited today! I just signed up for Intro to Raptor Handling! No, I'm not kidding! To quote Strongbad I've a passing interest in falconry! Teatown wildlife preserve in Ossining where I live has a $25 program for a 1 day class where you get trained how to hold and handle hawks, eagles, falcons and owls. I have a real thing for birds so this is quite a treat for me. Hopefully I won't get my eyes pecked out! Anyway it's a month from this Saturday so I have a while to wait. HNT is cancelled this week but I might post anyway. I noticed people haven't been commenting much. I guess the holiday season is upon us. Meanwhile, my three favorite blogs get a plug for Xmas. The ever fabulous and gorgeous Gigi, the erudite and never rude Stephen, and my favorite hot biker babe Laurie! Merry Christmas y'all! Can you tell I learned to link? Welcome to Wicked Whacky Wednesday!

Christmas Tunes

Here I am playing Christmas songs by the Christmas tree at a party in Queens Saturday night. Some friend of Brenda's had about 30 people in a teeny tiny apartment. It was about 100 degrees in there but we had fun anyway. I sounded pretty good in spite of being about 8 beers into the XXXmas spirit. People were singing along and digging it so I guess 'twarn't too bad. Ninety three hours to my flight to VA. Can't wait.

Monday A.M First Thing

It was a Monday A.M. First Thing, I got a letter from Pachabel's priest saying if they wanted to use the canon for Rambo V he couldn't care in the least. He wrote of how the courts installed a statue of LA in Florence and his scrawl was strained as if he wanted write "Danny can't come out to play today Mrs. Torrance." He signed his name in blood, but you know what was the worst thing? It was when the boss said "Hand copy it in triplicate." Monday A.M. First Thing
-Think Tree (now Count Zero: http://www.count-zero.com/ )

Please click on this link and read Scott Adams' short story God's Debris. http://www.andrewsmcmeel.com/godsdebris/ It's a thought experiment by the guy who writes the Dilbert comic strip. It's sheer genius and only 130 pages. It will make you think. It's a PDF file so you need Adobe Acrobat Reader.

And now, apropos of nothing, a ship:

Weekend was good. Slept late, great sex, food and beer. That is all.

Now THAT'S BIG!

This picture of depresses me because it was taken by an old friend that I really miss but can't talk to anymore. There are some things you can't take back and you can never really go home again. Once a bell is rung you can't unring it. I can't wait until this holiday season is behind us. I shouldn't bitch. Life is going well and I'm very happy all in all. I just want to have my cake and eat it too. It has been said before that my problem is I really want to make everybody happy and sometimes that's just not possible. I hate to hurt people. Sometimes it seems I just can't help it. My inability to please everyone makes me hate myself sometimes. That's kind of weird, isn't it?

Everybody's Doing It!

Reposting old pictures that is. I know I've been hinting that I'm going to show a bit more than ever before but since I got hurt I haven't been in the best shape. I don't want to disappoint! This one seems especially appropriate since it's now negative 12 degrees in New York. I want warm sun! Please notice the nice big Johnson...hanging off the back of the boat! Cheers & Happy HNT!

Money AND Sex!

Sorry, I'm only picturing the money right now. However, I noticed that pretty much everything I do and everything I've ever done boils down to those two things. I think that basically means that I'm a total whore. That's not really a surprise but it aggravates me sometimes. Well, lots of times indirectly, but sometimes directly. Wouldn't it be nice if, just once in a while, I did something that wasn't either for my wallet, my dick, or both? Oh well. Maybe I'll flap my arms and fly to the moon too. That's seems about as likely, if not more so. Don't mind me. I've been in a bad mood for days. See me around January 3d. I should be better by then. L'chiam y'all.

Typical Tuesday

Lisa over at http://recreationaluse.blogspot.com inspired me to do this long ass self indulgent bloggy meme thing "100 things about me" which I posted on my web site to save space here:
http://www.andyt13.com/100things.htm - I find it annoying that if I post every day things from two days ago disappear off the main page. Who's kidding who? Y'all come here for those hot HNT pix. :-) If I was a better person you'd all go look at www.andyt13.com and be so impressed you'd buy all my art, music and novel and I could retire to the Caribbean to drink rum on my sailboat, fish, play my guitar and make sweet love with Brenda all day long in the sun. Yea.

Bondage Tango Titans

This morning I dreamed that should be the name of the new music project. On the cover I picture a line drawing of three couples in 1950's clothes smiling and dancing hand in hand, but with ropes tied to their wrists and to the ceiling, against a light blue and pink background. Where do I GET this crap? I'll try to come up with a picture and post it later. Weird. Teenage Bongo Titans? Bondage Tango teens? Bingo Bondage Teenage Titans? What the fuck? Bondage Tango Titans. OK.

Half Nekkid Again

I was going to do a special HNT this week a là Tyler Durden but I got shy at the last minute. So instead I bring you another Half Nekkid post from sunny Miami Fla. Enjoy! PS if you missed Tuesday's post below take a look. Cheers!

Miscellaneous Wednesday

The previous post has a really interesting conversation going on in the comments but here's some miscellaneous crap stolen from my bloggy peeps. Thank you bloggy peeps; you know who you are! I've been meaning to post these but haven't had a chance. First:
"Strawberries and chocolate, fine champagne and a broken rose who knows how to play games." Lyrics from the song "Marrow" about Pacé Rabiola nee Marrow.- Visit www.AndyT13.com and download the tune for free! OK, they're all free right now but soon ye'll have ta pay ya wee bastards!
Next: Yes if this was middle Earth I'd be an elf. No duh. Patrict was a Saint. I Ain't.
Finally: My very favorite of these: South Park AndyT13!

I laughed for a full minute when I finished making him. So Me! Now, please read and comment on Tuesday's post? Kthx.

Low Fidelity

I ganked this from www.postsecret.com a while back. I don't feel bad reposting the image because a) I bought the book, and b) it was posted on the internet and since it was possible to download...you get the picture. I'm not getting into copyright issues today though there are plenty to talk about. I recently filed the copyright paperwork for my first novel so that's on my mind but a picture of the form would be boring. My problems with this image are many.
I have "had" numerous women who were married. Never having had any faith in the institution of marriage (my parents being on their 5th spouse each) I didn't feel guilty. I still don't feel terribly guilty since they all had "good reasons" to "cheat". Historically I haven't been the most faithful lover in the world myself. Instant slut, just add alcohol. So now that I'm thinking about getting married myself these issues are bugging me some. I feel I've learned my lesson. Winners never cheat and cheaters never win. I have faith in my mate as well as myself now, but I can't help getting the nagging feeling that we're all fooling ourselves and that the genetic predisposition of both sexes to be unfaithful is greater than the bonds of love can bind. Your thoughts, my bloggy peeps? And what's that whistling sound I hear getting louder?

Bikini Monday

Well! After a weekend of schlepping Brenda, her sister Chris and Chris' 3 children around it was time for a break. We needed some beach time so we flew in my private jet out to St. Bart's for...wait...*blink-blink*... Oh. It's Monday. It's snowing in New York. I have to work. Right.
This picture is from Islamorada Florida 3 weeks ago. Damn. This time next year I want to be married to this girl and living somewhere warm. That's not too much to ask, is it? Really?

Ideal Birth Control

Yes, my darling Brenda's sister has arrived in town. She brought her three children, a daughter and two sons, ages 3 5 and 7 respectively. You couldn't ask for better birth control. Now don't get me wrong, it's not that I hate children, but they really must be properly cooked for me to truly enjoy them. Actually, the eldest boy is very well behaved and I even like him. We played Halo2 on his Xbox (I've never played before) and we did very well. I enjoyed it. However, taking the three of them to lunch and shopping was an experience not to be repeated. I wore earplugs and STILL I have a headache. They are loud. They are underfoot. They are on me like white on rice. Yes, they are children and that's what children do. Can I go home now? Please? Jesus jumping Christ. When I was young I was obdiant, quiet and respectful to all and sudry because I believed I had good reason to fear for my life if I was not. I was rarely struck but it was clear that if I stepped out of line far enough or often enough that a severe ass whooping WAS an option. Anyway, it's now time for sex. With a condom. Possibly two. Bye.

Arrr, Pussy and Rum! A Pirate's Dream!

Arrr! This be NOT what I meant! Belay that feline! OK, I ganked this picture from last year's "Thank God It's Over party" photos that were posted on www.NANOWRIMO.org I didn't attend THAT party since I didn't know about it then, but last night we all went out to San Marcos on St. Mark's Place in NYC and Thanked God It was Over. There were some nice folks though I'm amazed at all the people who didn't finish. I started 10 days late and STILL I finished. Whatever.
Of the 60,000 people who tried about 10,000 people made it to 50,000 words. I didn't stay long. My friends Seth and Gina came out and after about two beers we were like "OK we're bored." So we grabbed Brenda and went to see a band at Otto's on 14th st. Then we went up to Seth's for a little jamming. Finally, when it was time to go home Bren pulled me into a corner of the stairwell and...well you can figure it out. HOT! I mean she is JUST SO FUCKING HOT!!!!!!!

Strong Like Bull !

Look! Out on the beach! It's a freak! No! It's a tweaker! No! It's...Half-Nekkid Man! Faster than a speeding double mocha skim latte! More powerful than a steaming local barrista! Able to leap short Brenda's in a single bound...Half-Nekkid Man! Dedicated to sex, beer and smokables of all kinds...What? That IS the American Way! Thanks for your kind words of congratulations on my success at finishing the novel for www.nanowrimo.org - I'm going to the "Thank God It's Over" party tonight but frankly I'm not really glad it's over. I want to do it all again and I don't want to wait until next November. First I need to find an agent and get published though. That is the next task. I feel confident someone will buy this thing. Donations are accepted. :-) Email me or leave me a comment with your email if you want a copy. Be forewarned though: LOTS of sex and violence. There's a articularly brutal scene towrds the end that even grossed ME out. Pax.