Saturday, October 21, 2006

Bad Blogger, Good Andy

I've been woefully absent from the blog scene lately and completely remiss in visiting and commenting on all you bloggy peeps. A thousand pardons my friends. My head's been all up in my azzle fo' shazzle. The Maharishi said the secret to happiness is to feed people and to serve people. This is something to which I aspire. My faded dreams of fame and fortune have lost their luster. Success can be defined as doing what you HAVE to do. This I have done. I have done my job, played my gigs, made my meetings, moved my boat, cleaned my house, done my laundry, rehearsed the band, spent time talking with friends and family... all in all a very productive week. And yet I ache to my soul for for the company of a woman I love so much, yet cannot be with.
It makes me want to destroy myself. "She doesn't love me enough to stay with me so I must be inherently worthless. Poor me, poor me; pour me another one." How very unattractive! My thinking is broken. Right thinking followed by right action shall be the goal. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.


ZooooM said...

Try not to be so hard on yourself? We all do this kind of thinking at times. While we can change our thinking to be more "right", don't beat yourself up if and when you revert back to old habits.

Stealth said...

I recognize that prayer. I am glad you are going and hope this comment goes through.

lime said...

amen. you desperately need the serenity....your value does not come from another person's approval of you.