This is my friend and former lover Pacé Rabiola. I hate this picture of her but it's the only one I have. Anyway it's a long sad story but the short version is she died last Wednesday night of a heroin overdose. She was fucked up but I loved her very much at one time and I'll miss her.
She had been trying to get her life back on track, had finally gotten an apartment with her 5 year old sonand moved out of her parents' place, had finally gotten the UNIX admin job she had been studying so hard for and in the end she lost it all. Further proof that if you chase the dragon long enough he eventually catches you. I could drone on endlessly about the evils of heroin but she'd hate that. She loved the fucking stuff. Besides, everybody's got their thing. What's yours?
It's an entirely unimporatant point but in case anyone is wondering I have 45,500 words and two days and thirteen ours to get to 50,000. The bad news above actually inspired me and I did 7500 words last night. So thanks Pacé. I'll consider it your parting gift. You always were a difficult and mostly unwilling and unwitting muse.
11 comments:
I'm very sorry for your loss.
I'm going to have to take this picture down pretty soon. It's very hard to look at her. I can't believe she's dead. There's some very complicated stuff between us that I can't even get into here but she loved me in her way. She called me on Friday to tell me how great everything was going, Wednesday she was dead. I found out the following Sunday when her boyfriend called me. I know why she was reaching out to me but I couldn't help her. I am sorry.
I ache for you, for her, for her son. My condolences.
Loss is awful. I don't even know her and I feel your loss.
Sending peace.
Addiction is a powerful force. It victimizes all of us. I'm sorry it took for beautiful friend.
I'm sorry. I too have lost loved ones to drug overdoses.
Thanks gang. I miss her. We haven't been close in 10 years but I always wished her well.
andy, i'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. at least you got to speak to her one last time. my sincerest condolences to you.
I knew Pace a long long time ago. we had lost touch by the time I left NY for parts West.
For some reason, she popped into my head a few days ago, and I ran her name through google. This was one of two results.
I am devastated and saddened to learn of this, especially this way and so late. We had not been close since the early nineties, and parted with acrimony and frustration but I had always had fond memories of her.
I am sorry for your loss and I heartily commiserate. She was a wonderful complex human being who brought a lot of intensity to any relationship, enriching it as surely as she complicated things.
Wow Andy, this is so sad to hear. I just did a google search for Pace' because I was wondering what happened to her. She was a very close childhood friend.
I knew Pace from college. We graduated together. We were the gimpy punk rock twins in the Comp Sci program. She bleached my hair and put in color streaks right before graduation, I still have her long-sleeve The Cure t-shirt she lent me, she still had the Perl book I lent her.
I found out about her death shortly after it happened, because I hadn't heard from her in a while and Myspace stalked her Thanksgiving weekend and found her page with all these comments saying "You will be missed" and I was wondering where she was travelling to. Then I saw Jim's page and knew.
I wonder about Julian, about Jim, about her parents, occasionally. I really hope they're doing well, and I wish them all the best.
Thank you for sharing this picture, Andy, and for sharing your story. I had almost forgotten how she looked.
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