I will Not Cry

"I will Not Cry" by Valery Milovic @ www.fluxfire.com

Victim Of Love

170/36 The show is tonight at The Striped Bass @ 9PM See you there!

What kind of love have you got?
You should be home, but you’re not
A room full of noise and dangerous boys
Still makes you thirsty and hot
I heard about you and that man
There’s just one thing I don’t understand
You say he’s a liar and he put outYour fire
How come you still got his gun in your hand?
Victim of love , I see a broken heart
You got your stories to tell
Victim of love, it’s such an easy part
And you know how to play it so well
Some people never come clean
I think you know what I mean
You’re walkin’ the wire, pain and desire
Looking for love in between
Tell me your secrets, I’ll tell you mine
This ain’t no time to be cool
And tell all your girlfriends,You ’been around the world’ friends
That talk is for losers and fools
Victim of love, I see a broken heart
I could be wrong, but I’m not (no I'm not)
Victim of love, we’re not so far apart
Show me, what kind of love have you got?
Victim of love, you’re just a victim of love
I could be wrong , but I’m not
Victim of love, now you’re a victim of love
What kind of love have you got?
What kind of love have you got?
What kind of love have you got?

Heartbreak Hotel

Well, since my baby left me,
I found a new place to dwell.
Its down at the end of lonely street
At heartbreak hotel.

You make me so lonely baby,
I get so lonely,
I get so lonely I could die.

And although its always crowded,
You still can find some room.
Where broken hearted lovers
Do cry away their gloom.

You make me so lonely baby,
I get so lonely,
I get so lonely I could die.

Well, the bell hops tears keep flowin,
And the desk clerks dressed in black.
Well they been so long on lonely street
They aint ever gonna look back.

You make me so lonely baby,
I get so lonely,
I get so lonely I could die.

Hey now, if your baby leaves you,
And you got a tale to tell.
Just take a walk down lonely street
To heartbreak hotel.

The show is tonight at The Striped Bass @ 9PM See you there!

Empathy

After everything I've done I hate myself for what I've become. Fucking stupid empath. Bad! God! Fuckin' shoot me now! Gah!

Hey Diddle Diddle

Some of you may or may not know this but I have a real thing for Nursery Rhymes. Perhaps my penchant for poetry and my ability to write and remember lyrics comes from that. I dunno. I've certainly always had an affinity for words and phrases in meter and rhyme. HERE is a nifty site that has every nursery rhyme you ever heard of (and many you never did) in complete form. Amazingly comprehensive and amusing as well, especially for those of you with kids. Enjoy.
-Your friendly neighborhood raving psycho and sociopath

Followed

Bunny, Being Followed By Fear, Regret And Demons Of The Past, Hangs His Head And Cries, 3/2004, 12x16, mixed media on cardboard. Life beats down and crushes the soul. By Valery Milovic @ www.fluxfire.com Used by permission. "We will not regret the past, nor wish t shut the door on it..." Bullshit. Hell hounds on my trail...

Dependency

"Dependency" by Valery Milovic @ http://www.fluxfire.com/ I absolutely love her work. It speaks volumes about how I feel. Go check it out. I've been noticing more and more the gap between what I think and how I feel. I THINK that my life is great and I'm better off than I've ever been. I'm healthier, safer, more financially secure, more in control of myself and my life. Unfortunately I FEEL terrible. I mistakenly gave my heart, my life and my love to a very poor custodian thereof. I got them back when she no longer wanted them, but now they're all broken. I don't know how to fix them. I'm sad and I'm scared that everyone is going to get tired of my whining and leave me even more alone than I already feel. NEW TOPIC: Someone I love very much is also very sad; so sad they carved their arm up bad enough to have to go to the doctor. They made me promise not to tell anyone so I'm not naming any names but I have a message for them. That message is I LOVE YOU. Please don't hurt yourself anymore. I don't want you to die. OK? Please? Call me instead. Thanks. 155/21

Tag

No time this AM to blog. I makin' pancakes!
Tag brought to you by Dallas Meow:

Three resolutions I’ve made more than once:
Quit drinking, quit smoking, quit getting my heart broken. 2 out of 3 ain't bad.
Three things I wish someone would buy or do for me:
Come back to me, love me, never leave me
Three places I am dying to visit:
Greece, Trinidad/Tobago & N'awlins
Three words I can never spell correctly:
Eye Nevah Miss Spell Wirdz.
Three secrets I have never told anyone:
Well DUH. I have 3 and you can't know.
Three things I would do if I won a big lottery:
Buy big boat. Sail away. Never return.
Three things I’ve lost that I can’t seem to get over:
My heart, my love, my life
Three favorite places to be a tourist:
I'm never a tourist;always a traveller.
Too many to list but Paris, San Sebastien, anywhere Caribbean
Three movies I’ve never seen, that I would like to see:
Can't think of any. If I wanna see 'em I see 'em.
Three things I like to do alone.
Sail, drink and think.

Big Freakin Snowstorm

Big freakin snowstorm in the Northeast today. I wanted to blow off work and stay home but I figured "Fuck it. I'll go in late, leave early, and not lose a precious day off." So that's my plan. I really want to do some longer sailing trips this year. My boat and I are in good shape physically though I wonder about that boat's sanity sometimes. She seems to fall in love the hardest with boats that don't love her back. She has abandonment issues too. She's attracted to flaky boats who abandon her and then she says "See? No one really loves me. They all go away. I think I'll go sink myself." Silly boat! She used to drink and smoke all the time too, that boat, but she isn't doing that anymore. She told me yesterday that she wanted a shot of 151 Rumplemintz to celebrate 151 days alcohol free but I talked her out of it. She really misses her Marlboro reds too but I told her they were bad for her. She told me to go fuck myself but she doesn't mean it really. She's awfully talkative for a boat don't you think? The boat I mean. Boat.

How come doing doesn't rhyme with boing? Boat.

Misery Loves Company

I got this image HERE. Pretty cool site. A bunch of you contacted me by various means to offer your support and otherwise try to keep me from getting drunk and or killing myself. I thank you. That's one of the reasons I keep blogging. It reminds me that people I hardly know halfway across the world give a shit if I live or die. Moreso than I do even. Thanks.

Surrender

perfect little dream the kind that hurts the most
forgot how it feels well almost
no one to blame always the same
open my eyes wake up in flames
it took you to make me realize
it took you to make me realize
it took you to make me realize
it took you to make me see the light
smashed up my sanity
smashed up integrity
smashed up what i believed in
smashed up what's left of me
smashed up my everything
smashed up all that was true
gonna smash myself to pieces
i don't know what else to do
covered in hope and vaseline
still cannot fix this broken machine
watching the hole it used to be mine
just watching it burn in my steady systematic decline
of the trust i will betray
give it to me i throw it away
after everything i've done i hate myself for what i've become
i tried
i gave up
throw it away
Gave Up -NIN

A friend's son off to war

All right you lot (whoever you are) whether you comment here or not now is the time to make your voices heard. My very dear bloggy friend G'night Girl is having a hard time right now. Her son Brian got on a plane this morning at 2AM to fly to Kuwait and thence to Bahgdad for the next 18 to 24 months as part of the US Army. Whoever you are please do me this favor and go leave Gnight Girl a comment. Tell her you love her and her son and that everything's going to be fine, OK? Please? I'll consider it a personal favor. Thank you. Be Thou Blessed.

NO PENGUIN SPOOKING

Whilst searching google for an image to go with the title "Monday Morning Blues" I found THIS! I haven't listened to the podcasts yet but if the imagery is any indication then this thing is a riot! So props to Stu for Pooh-Poohing my Monday Morning Blues. Rock on! The rest of the site is some sort of advertising shlock which would depress me but at this point I'm past caring. UPDATE: www.bloggerheads.com/happy is a much better link!

Latin Blues

This beautiful Giclee print entitled Latin Blues II is by Chris Rea and is for sale to support Hope For Tomorrow a cancer charity. He has a bunch and they're gorgeous. You should buy some because they're awesome, they support a great cause and you can write them off on your taxes.
I tell you this because I was looking for a suitable image for the two songs from the upcoming Gearjammers CD that I want to post for you. They are, in fact, both Latin Blues. Here are The Sayonara Samba and The Mucho Macho Mambo.
Enjoy!