Tuesday, November 29, 2005
I only managed about a thousand words last night. I wanted to just go home and finish off this giant beast but events conspired against me. I had to return some crap to the ex and then make dinner. The holiday visiting season is upon us and everyone's hating it, especially me. My own flight to VA to visit my parents is soon. I'm looking forward to seeing them but it's stressful, no doubt.
I'm still really troubled about Pacé's recent death but I decided to leave her picture up. I hope her former boyfriend will send me some better digital pictures of her. I hate that one. She looks like she's already dead in it. I'm going to paint it. I don't know why, but I hope it will be cathartic. Either that or I'm insanely obsessed. She was the inspiration for the most popular songs I ever wrote. It was all bad and painful inspiration, sure, but that's how it goes sometimes I guess.
These lyrics from Mike Doughty's song 'Sugar Plant' come to mind:
"I dream you up on the vast dark bed, believe I love you for each hair upon the back of your neck and I want to kiss you but I can't down on the river by the sugar plant. Earrings weighing down the lobe and nose a lovely slope and your mouth turned down. Shoulders pale and beautiful and angle of the throat your sweet sad stare. I dream you up on this vast dark coast, believe I see you walking towards me arms outstretched like a ghost and I want to kiss you but I can't down on the river by the sugar plant"
Tonight I will finish come what may; Hell or high daughters.