Monday, March 27, 2006

This about says it all

I met Johnny Cash once when I was about ten years old. After a concert at the Melody Tent in Hyannis Mass we waited backstage. He gave me his autograph and was a perfect gentleman to my parents and I. Man, that dude could sing! Anyway I watched Walk The Line over the weekend and several things struck me. For one thing I just hate Joaqueen Phoenix :-t Having him play Johnny Cash is like having Michael Jackson play Mr. T. - It's plain wrong. For another thing movies with domestic violence and relationship trauma and drama really bum me out. I just can't take it. That shit just hits way to close to home. Anyway, screw the whole wide world, excepting you, my faithful friends, as I'm now on vacation. I'll return to my regularly scheduled blogging ASAP and no sooner.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Serious Wood, Sport!

Um...I mean fiberglass. Serious fibreglass. Every time I see pictures like this my blood races. I'm trying like mad to get on a bunch of long distance ocean races this year. I'm aching for that deep blue water. As I'm packing for Aruba I'm already thinking about taking the first week of May and flying to Antigua for race week there. It's getting hard to balance "real" life with sailing life.
Uh-oh. I've started putting quotes around the "real". That can't be good. :-) Sorry for the lame HNT this week. I thought he was really good looking but he got mixed reviews and now that I look again maybe not so much.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

For the ladies HNT

To my dismay I didn't have time to take an HNT pic this week so I decided to cheat and search google for "Andy's Skin". I dunno why this pic of some dude named Blaine Wilson came up but I figured it was as good as anything. Back when I was working out every day (about 20 years ago) I actually looked kind of like this though I never had that much ab definition. Beer and abs are not friends. Not friends at all. Anyway, enjoy this because I'll be missing you next Thursday since I'll be sailing in Aruba. That's IN Aruba, not TO Aruba. That comes later. Cheers and HHNT!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Freedom of Intoxication Act

This was the first pic to come up on google images for "intoxication". I love it, especially her left hand. OK, once again we've reached a new high in Asshattery. It seems the esteemed members of law enforcement in Irvine Texas swooped down on unsuspecting bar patrons and arrested some 30 people for public intoxication. After all, they MIGHT drive drunk. Here's the link. Particualrly egregious are the arrests in A HOTEL BAR. Um, hello? I'm a patron of this hotel? I'm staying here tonight? NOT driving? Don't care, you're drunk, come with us. I dunno if any of my loyal readers are lawyers, but does implied consent (to a breathalyzer) apply any time other than when you're pulled over DRIVING? Welcome to the United States of You're Under Arrest. Public drunkeness=illegal, therefore public bars=illegal. Get it? There's no doubt in my mind that The Supreme Court would uphold this idiocy because public drunkeness is indeed against the law. It'll be interesting to see if they try to charge them with Intent To Drive Drunk. Bah. "Vere Ah Your Paypahs?" I dunno, but I DO have this shotgun here...

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Racing Season Approacheth

I wanted to express to my German friend Henri how exciting racing sailboats is. He is an amazing photographer so if you haven't heard of him check out World of White Trash. Anyway, he needs a new adrenaline rush since he's kind of done with mountain climbing so I suggested sailing. He said it was too slow. He thought I meant poking around on a lake. No, no, no! When you race sailboats, especially big ones in large fleets, it's like playing chicken with a truck. The clock is ticking, people are screaming, boats sometimes hit, your heart rocks. Not better than sex, but very similar at times. You're finessing and cajoling this beautiful feminine beauty to get the optimum performance out of you both for the most satisfying outcome possible. Um...anyway... Henri lives in Berlin so maybe that's a little far from the sea. Anyone have any exciting new hobby ideas for poor Henri? Let's hear 'em. Better yet visit him and leave a suggestion!

Sunday, March 19, 2006

My New Erection

I'm sorry. That headline was too good to resist. I put up Gala's new mast finally on Saturday and it looks GREAt. I'm very pleased. I hated the wooden one. 'Twas ugly and a maintenance nightmare. Anyway I tried really hard to take care of everything while the mast was on the ground but sure enough there's always something. I had to be hauled to the top of the mast by the crane three times to fix a problem. Let me tell you it's a lot further from the top looking down than it is from the deck looking up. Sheesh! It was windy too. Scary stuff.
In other news the second yacht deal fell through at the last second. I'm relieved. These things aren't cheap to store and maintain. It's literally like having two race horses. Anyway now I have an aluminum mast, masthead light, steaming light, VHF radio antennae and a wind indicator. All very necessary; all brand new. Woot!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Good Golly Miss Molly! New boat!

Well, due to circumstances nearly out of my control I've come into possession of this odd duck. 'Tis a 32 foot Seawind pilot house cutter ketch. Oy! What a mouthful! Cutter ketch means two headsails in front, a main sail and a small mizzen sail on a tiny mast in back. I'm not really a fan of the pilot house (the thing with the big square windows) and I'm contemplating removing it. Skooching by it to get to the foredeck in a hurry seems likely to result in unnecessary dampness. That is to say an unforseen swim. It depends how much work it is. My basic plan is to sell it as soon as possible. Having two yachts to feed and care for is an undesirable state of affairs.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The Leggin O tha Green HNT!

Happy Saint Pat's day ya wee bastards! HNT!


I bitch and moan and complain a lot, but on the whole life is pretty good and I'm grateful to God for all the wonder and beauty in my life and the world around me. I'm a lucky guy. Life's good.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Titanic Tuesday

This painting, 'Orange Sail' is by Hannah Shapero. I highly recommend her art and her blog! Interesting stuff if you're into art, mathmatics and esoteric philosophy. I was looking for a sailing picture to post since right now my brain is consumed by finishing renovations on my Albin Vega 27 sail boat (Gala) and that's what I found. I figure she won't mind me posting it since I linked to her. Go buy her art. Cheers!

Monday, March 13, 2006

Manic Monday

This pic came up under Google images "Manic Monday" and I liked it too much to pass up. "Let's see, the horoscope says I'll be forgetful today. What could I have forgotten? I have my sherry, my newspaper, my hat...what could it be?" Actually I think she's hideously unattractive in every way, except for the fact that she's naked, which always improves one's view of the subject. Lori sent me a remarkably incriminating photo of herself in a coon skin cap. OK, it's a fox skin cap and no she's not naked, you pervs. Anyway I threatened to post it because yes, it's hilarious, but I wouldn't embarrass her for my own amusement. Well, not THIS time anyway. Happy Monday ya big freaks. Sailing season approacheth!

Friday, March 10, 2006

Rare Political Rant

"Never wrestle with a pig; you both get dirty but the pig enjoys it."
I don't normally talk about political or social issues on my blog because in general the elites who have access to this technology tend to think I'm a Neanderthal because of my less than progressive attitudes about some things. I used to be a leftist commie pinko fag but I grew up and noticed that not everything they taught us in college was really true or practical in the real world. Shocking, I know, but there it is. So my experiences have pushed me right to the center politically. Deal with it. I know I'm not the only one.
The issue: Gun control. You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead fingers. The constitution guarentees us the right to keep and bear arms but you couldn't guess that in NY. Sorry, but I don't give two shits about your mommy state "what about the children" crap. Teach them to shoot. They might need to overthrow their facist goverment some day. Quit it.
The issue: reparations for slavery. I never owned a slave. No one in my family ever owned a slave and in fact a large number of my relatives fought with the union to free the slaves. How on Earth does that make me liable for reparations to anyone? It's not possible to administrate such a thing fairly even if it were a good idea, which it ain't. Quit it.
The issue: politically correct race names are an oxymoron. African-American, Irish American... Horse Hockey! If you were born in this country you're an American. Period; paragraph. I don't give a crap where your ancestors were from, YOU are an American and your race is unimportant. I'm a blue-eyed, olive skinned Irish and French American with native American and Spanish royal blood. That and $2 will get me on the subway just like anyone else. Quit it.
The issue: religious zealotry is dangerous to society at large and needs to be exterminated. If your God tells you that you must kill or enslave those who believe something different than you that makes you a menace to society. You need to be put down like a rabid dog. I don't care what flavor you are. You must die for the good of mankind. All of you. I'm not sorry. Quit it.
The issue: so called "gender norming" - Men and women are different. It's a fact. Get over it. Neither sex is "better" or "worse" than the other. We both have our strengths and weaknesses and we are designed (if there is such a thing) to complement one another. Making everything in the world gender non-specific is not only annoying and unnecessary but downright counter-productive. For example, just because some people think women should be fighting on the battlefield in a war doesn't make it a good idea. Quit it.
How come every bar can be made to be non-smoking? How come every bar can be made to have handicapped access? How come every bar can be made to have a gender neutral bathroom? How come every bar can be made to hire a certain number of ? What happened to personal freedom? You want any of those things? Great! I'm sure you'll have a clientelle, but you shouldn't be forced to do these things by governmental regulation. It's intrusive, authoritarian and un-American. Quit it. Some of my faithful readers may be appalled at these sentiments but they're mine and I'll own up to them. If you want to disagree in the comments feel free but please keep it civil. That's the problem with discourse today. No one can talk about anything without shouting and name calling. You got a beef? Fine, let's have it but leave my mother out of it or I'll shoot you.

Thursday, March 09, 2006


OK, this pic is from Nov. but I haven't posted it before. It had just rained and there was a little water on the lens. It's this or nothing since I was too busy last night to take a special one for today. I like that I'm smiling and you can see my anchor tattoo. So? HHNT!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Wonderful Wednesday

What's so wonderful about it you ask? Well it's my baby's birthday and Aruba is calling. This pic is from Miami but soon, yes, soon I shall be parked on a beach in Aruba with a drink in my hand, my toes in the sand and WOW! What a beautiful girl, ah yeah! A trip to Aruba is a nice birthday present, no? Apparently we've both been good. Aruba! In other news, lots to do. Boat work, novel editing, movie editing, music editing, editing editing editing. Blah. Nevertheless, I must finish what I started ere I start anything new or I'll never finish anything. Aruba! Woot!

Terrific Tuesday

The James River, Richmond Virginia. Class V rapids. That is to say that 15 experienced kayakers still drowned here last year. It looks fairly promising and I thought "Well, hell, it's just another river!" but apparently not so much. Things are not always what they seem. I think I'll stick with the Hudson river but even so she sure was beautiful. My birthday went well. Thanks for asking my bloggy peeps. Y'all rock, and how!

Monday, March 06, 2006


GniteGirl Lori inspired me to get a Koi Fish as my next tattoo. While searching for potential designs I saw this and just about crawled out of my skin. The amount of pain and discomfort I feel just LOOKING at this is beyond description. Euaruaghhhhhugugugug!!!!!!!!! NO SOLE-OF-THE-FOOT TATTOOS FOR ME! YOW!

Friday, March 03, 2006

Love and Friday

Ganked this damned fool test from Laurie. It claims MY Chinese charater is LOVE. Bosh. I hate that made up shit. Not that I can resist a good least they got the charater right. You'd be surprised how often people get that shit wrong. I have a friend who has a tattoo she claims says "Bad Girl." I didn't bother to tell her it says "Man-like Woman". Literally "Bad girl." Talk about lost in translation! I want to learn more Chinese. It's a gorgeous language. By the way, anyone else ever notice how often movie subtitles are just wrong? That shit drives me nuts! :-)
Check out the hysterical Hanzis Matter for more Chinese character butchery!

Thursday, March 02, 2006


Today I present a picture from August 2004. Back when I had me some short hair. Since then I've been growing it out to its current longishness. Today is Day 5; no beer. I don't like the booze but the booze likes me. Well, vice versa actually. I stepped on the scale and wondered where that new ten lbs. came from. Then it hit me; 150 calories per bottle of beer x 10 bottles a day = 1500 additional unnecessary calories per day. Yuck. Water please.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Happy Birthday To Me!

Thanks to everyone who came by and wished me a happy birthday! I love you all! This pic is courtesy of Phantom, who is a photo shop guru extraordinaire. I ganked this test from Chaos. Wow! Wicked accurate! Who knew?

You chose AX - your Enneagram type is SEVEN.
"I am happy and open to new things"
Adventurers are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world.
How to Get Along with Me
Give me companionship, affection, and freedom.
Engage with me in stimulating conversation and laughter.
Appreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories.
Don't try to change my style. Accept me the way I am.
Be responsible for yourself. I dislike clingy or needy people.
Don't tell me what to do.
What I Like About Being a Seven
being optimistic and not letting life's troubles get me down
being spontaneous and free-spirited
being outspoken and outrageous. It's part of the fun.
being generous and trying to make the world a better place
having the guts to take risks and to try exciting adventures
having such varied interests and abilities
What's Hard About Being a Seven
not having enough time to do all the things I want
not completing things I start
not being able to profit from the benefits that come from specializing; not making a commitment to a career
having a tendency to be ungrounded; getting lost in plans or fantasies
feeling confined when I'm in a one-to-one relationship
Sevens as Children Often
are action oriented and adventuresome
drum up excitement
prefer being with other children to being alone
finesse their way around adults
dream of the freedom they'll have when they grow up
Sevens as Parents
are often enthusiastic and generous
want their children to be exposed to many adventures in life
may be too busy with their own activities to be attentive
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages