Saturday, December 03, 2005

Ideal Birth Control

Yes, my darling Brenda's sister has arrived in town. She brought her three children, a daughter and two sons, ages 3 5 and 7 respectively. You couldn't ask for better birth control. Now don't get me wrong, it's not that I hate children, but they really must be properly cooked for me to truly enjoy them. Actually, the eldest boy is very well behaved and I even like him. We played Halo2 on his Xbox (I've never played before) and we did very well. I enjoyed it. However, taking the three of them to lunch and shopping was an experience not to be repeated. I wore earplugs and STILL I have a headache. They are loud. They are underfoot. They are on me like white on rice. Yes, they are children and that's what children do. Can I go home now? Please? Jesus jumping Christ. When I was young I was obdiant, quiet and respectful to all and sudry because I believed I had good reason to fear for my life if I was not. I was rarely struck but it was clear that if I stepped out of line far enough or often enough that a severe ass whooping WAS an option. Anyway, it's now time for sex. With a condom. Possibly two. Bye.


Laurie said...

LOL... welcome to my world, Andy!!

MT wears earplugs a lot - he has tinnitus, and when Lukecifer goes off into a tantrum, it just about kills him.

So, you're gonna double-bag it, eh? ;-)

Bougie Black Boy said...

hmmmmmm..... I was a model for a Contraception and "The Morning After" advertisement. . . I'll have to send you posters! lol

lovelylady said...

LOL Good post. I hope you enjoyed your evening. :-)

gigi said...

You took them to dinner and shopping? What the hell were you thinking?

I don't even take my own kids to dinner and shopping!